Never the Same IC #3 The Adolescent

We continue to follow young troubled Kirk through childhood. This kid had a lot of problems emotional, physical and otherwise.

 

Influence Cluster Three:  The Adolescent

Cue:  “True Faith” https://youtu.be/K9OjzKRPD_A

Despondency

This would be the beginning of Kirk’s fat period. His unfortunate, ugly condition came together in a critical mass of a fusion of factors when he was turning eight years old. For Kirk’s birthday ever resourceful and inventive Grandpa T modified a rototiller by mounting driving wheels and attaching a small two wheeled cart behind. He showed Kirk how to start the motor and then control it while standing in the cart. It was the first of its kind all-terrain vehicle. This mechanical conveyance meant Kirk didn’t have to walk as much. How cool! One usual destination in his all-terrain rototiller-derived conveyance was visiting the neighbor farmer, Roy.

 An older, quite mellow farmer guy, Roy ran a pheasant farm. Yes, the usual wild bird, though there were pheasants kept by the hundreds in cages. Cruising along the farm lanes Kirk would go over to visit Roy on his standup all-terrain vehicle on an almost daily basis. In the spring, Roy’s large mass incubator would be going with maybe a hundred or more pheasant eggs under the warming lights. In apt anticipation, boy Kirk peeked into the incubator on a daily basis to see if any tiny little beaks were breaking through the shells. When emerging, the hatchings were especially fun for the boy watching as the tiny fuzzy, brown and yellow chicks dried off and hopped about with peeps galore! 

Often, Kirk would ride along with Roy on his tractor when he fed the grown pheasants in the outside cages. Roy wore a wool buffalo plaid hat, but remarkably, the very top of the hat had a hole worn in it from rubbing on the overhead chicken wire as he drove his tractor inside the cages. Kirk wondered if the top his head got a hole rubbed in it as well.  Leta, Roy’s big-hearted wife, always had fresh cookies available which didn’t help the boy’s waistline one bit. Eventually, Kirk would return home on his now preferred mode of transportation, always in time for his favorite television shows.

This period proved to be the Golden Age of TV Science Fiction. The list of exciting Sci-Fi shows seems endless looking back, and Kirk tried to watch them all. He was mesmerized for hours on end. He was starry-eyed with Star Trek, captivated with The Invaders, adrift with Lost in Space, punctual with The Time Tunnel, awash with Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea, and downright excited with Wild, Wild West. 

On top of those two factors, the lack of exercise and passive TV watching, he’d grown rather fond of his mother’s baking. He devoured them all from snacks, cakes, pies, cookies, and so on. When his mother was out of the house, Kirk would sneak in and carry off as many baked goods as he could carry. She must have noticed the missing cookies or see a big piece of cake gone, but she never mentioned it. As a result, Kirk continued to grow in girth. He became a rather big round chub. It didn’t seem to bother him because he was not so happy with his life anyway, so he would never be the same after growing fat. If he didn’t feel alone before, try being a fat shy uncoordinated introvert.

Related to this time and his condition, Kirk began going to the dentist on his own, very painfully so and all too often enough. Over the years Kirk went to the dentist, he hated every second as do most people who supposedly have cavities. It seemed that every time Kirk went, the dentist found a multitude of cavities, and so there’d be those huge hypodermic needles filled with Novocain that numbed his entire head right off the bat. Nevertheless, when the dentist started digging and whiz-grinding away Kirk gripped the arms of the torture chair, embedding his fingers deep into the rubber padding. With the cavities drilled down to his jaw or so it felt when his brain began vibrating, the dentist would pack pounds of poisonous silver filing into all those ground-out cavernous chasms.

Never giving Kirk any advice about avoiding sweets or brushing after every meal, because that would put said dentist out of business, the dentist thereby ensured Kirk would return making him the quack’s best customer. At that early time, Kirk didn’t put one and one together figuring out for himself that it would be in his best interest to limit sweets, watch what he ate, and brush after every meal.  So, expectantly every time he went to the dentist’s office he’d have another bunch of bad cavities. Years later, Kirk was pretty sure that hometown dentist was indeed a hack who preyed on poor defensive introverted children. 

On the other hand, Kirk’s experience with another dentist would probably be the single most influential person in his young life considering his extremely low self-esteem at the time and so he needed some real help. Along the same lines, the decisive influence of this dentist revealed later in Kirk’s story might have indeed fostered normal relationships with girls not to mention teaching him proper dental hygiene.  

Totally Green

Kirk’s family fancied their mother as a good baker but also as an innovative cook. There was always something new and different and interesting to eat considering it was, after all, just a farm family’s homestead. But despite a variety at dinnertime Kirk had a real problem with green peas, particularly canned green peas. That hard grainy texture, that bright green color and that strong gag-inducing taste and smell was enough to stop Kirk coming to the table, but he had to sit there. Those peas, he wouldn’t touch ‘em let alone eat ‘em, but the rule of the house strictly enforced was that you ate everything on your plate including that pile of stinkin’ bright green bullet-hard peas. The family didn’t have them often, but way too often for little Kirk because it was always an ordeal for him to get them down and keep them there. Long after dinner was over when everyone else had gone onto other things and the sun headed down, he’d still be sitting there with his plate of peas.

Kirk tried mixing them with other food like mashed potatoes, but he always gagged on them anyway because the green gaggy flavor overwhelmed everything else. He wondered how anyone could choke them down without complaint. Once, and it only took once for it was a very bad idea, Kirk concocted a devious scheme to get away with not eating the offensive green b-bs. Kirk decided to stash them in a pocket and make a quick getaway.

Well, as you might imagine this works better in a child’s mind than in a child’s practice, that is, sliding slimy green peas into one’s pocket on the sly and then bolting out the door to dispose of them could never work in any stretch of imagination. Of course, outside, after digging the now slick, slimy green mess out of his pocket yielded a thoroughly slimy green pant leg. Kirk couldn’t hide the mess by any means and paid dearly for that sneaky yet clearly doomed attempt at green pea subterfuge

On the subject of meals, it seemed that meal time became a coming together of a bitter feud between his parents. Kirk had no idea what drove those battles, but they were always big and explosive. Food items and utensils flew on a regular basis including a fully loaded dinner plate that Kirk’s sister flung straight up against the ceiling when she couldn’t take it anymore. Potatoes, gravy, and a vegetable, probably green peas, stuck up there in ugly drippy globs. Nevertheless, the battle would subside when his mother stormed out the door, down the driveway, and out to the road.

 Kirk’s father would calmly just sit there biding his time finishing his meal.  Kirk’s sisters would relentlessly pester their father for some time before he’d unhurriedly take the car and go pick their mother up. Neither came back happy, but they both always came back. The ongoing dark joke was that their mother would someday walk back alone because she couldn’t drive and not say a word about their father who disappeared and mysteriously never returned. The big fights occurred way too often and as an impressionable child, Kirk would never be the same.

Dysfunctional as his family acted that he observed closely on a regular basis, the child, and soon preteen, reacted in kind. Interactions with family members remained few and far between. The sisters didn’t care for the strange boy, and he returned the favor with boyish means of revenge that he usually regretted. His mother and father didn’t show him much in emotional support or teachings per se and whether he realized that or not, he lashed out at them. With any kind of misspoken statement or words the boy would point out the correct terms in a mocking tone. No matter what he said or did to them there would be no repercussions from his parents.

Maybe they figured the dreaded Sunday church attendance would teach the boy manners so he’s stop his mean streaks and judgmental remarks, but undoubtedly, he hated going to church services. Almost every Sunday, he tried to booby trap the family car such as propping up nails behind the tires, so they’d cause punctures when the car backed up. Kirk’s father must have known or suspected what Kirk was up to and foiled his plans because they never missed a single Sunday worship. It was surprising the church allowed the evil, fat, introverted little boy inside.

Gender Misidentification

Speaking of church service attendance, one annual event associated with the church that the children actually looked forward to was the summertime socials. At a predetermined date at one of the local parks, the congregation would gather for a day of fun and games, but of course, first, there’d be an outdoor church service. The pastor kept it short just long enough to speak “the good word” with maybe a hymn and ending with the plate passed, of course.

And of course, the kids were all fired up. The horde released from the service with a stampede and shared scream, heading to ad hoc baseball games, volleyball, badminton and those deadly Jart games. You know those sharp, flying game pieces that someone might have been killed with which are now outlawed devices of death! But one highly anticipated feature was the ole’ fishin’ hole.

 There, the kids lined up for a chance to “fish” over a wall with a fishing pole and line while someone on the other side attached a small bag with a cool little gift inside. Kirk salivated while he waited in line, seeing other boys with balsa wood airplanes, squirt guns, little helicopters and all sort of fun toys. Kirk couldn’t wait. As his turn came up, he grabbed the fishing pole with shaking hands and threw the line over the wall. The line twitched and moved about like he was getting a “bite” and his expectation skyrocketed. Suddenly, he got a strong jerk. He had something! Such fun! Such excitement! What could it be?

Kirk pulled the line over and saw the gift bag. It was long and cylindrical. With nervous anticipation he removed the bag and started walking away. The next kid in line yelled, “Hey you, give me the pole!” Kirk turned back and gave the pole to that next excited kid. Nervously, he sat down at a picnic table and carefully opened the bag�"and reached in�"and pulled out�"a parasol.  Whaaaat? What a horrible gift for a boy!

Devastated with dismay and embarrassment and wearing tears in his eyes, he looked around to see if anyone noticed. He didn’t see anyone laughing and pointing at him, but it would only be a matter of time before everyone would know. He noticed the bag lying there on the table with “girl gift” written on it. Did they think he was a girl? How could they make that kind of awful mistake? Kirk left his gift lying there and ran for the shelter of the car because he couldn’t bear any longer to be seen in public. He would never be the same after that major embarrassment. 

And so life went on as usual for Kirk’s family, while Kirk remained pretty much unhinged.

Cue: “Things Can Only Get Better” https://youtu.be/TXDcv3BPM3k

Terror!

Many miscellaneous things influenced Kirk in countless diverse ways, those he might recall if he thought long enough and hard enough, though many things he doesn’t remember or simply wishes to hide away in the far corners of his mind. Frightful memories included certain things such as imagined images that induced a dizzying sense of terror in the young boy such as his night terrors and psychedelic visions. The Wizard of Oz terrified Kirk to his very core as did the magic talking mirror featured in The Wonderful World of Disney.  A Halloween mask of Howdy Doody presented a terrifying visage that Kirk utterly freaked out over. In that particular case, in response to not becoming a Halloween Howdy Doody as planned, Kirk’s sister and her girlfriend dressed him up as a ballerina for Halloween and went out trick or treating.  Kirk surely was never the same after that!

A Closest Call

While waiting for the school bus at the end of the family’s long driveway, Kirk had plenty of time to goof off.  He waited in the little moldy booth along the driveway on cold and snowy days, but when spring rolled around he just enjoyed being outside in the fresh air. One favorite thing he did was to make loops out onto the nice smooth pavement that had been applied the summer before. He’d sprint out and across the road feeling like he was running like the wind, the smooth surface feeling so good under his Ked sneaker treads. One time the activity didn’t feel so good or feel so fun. It ended up being bad enough for him to halt doing the fun maneuvers altogether.

That time, Kirk Impatiently waited there along the road for a few cars to speed by at 55MPH or greater until he finally had a break in the traffic to take one of his exuberant loops. Out he sped off the shoulder from a standing stop to full speed he went�"failing to see or hear the quiet car coming from the other way. He turned amid step when he heard the car, but too late with a screech of tires the car brushed along the side of his body, and in shocked response he spun down to the pavement. Frantically he crawled to the roadside and trembled, sitting there severely shaken. The car’s driver stopped and backed up to ask if the boy was okay. Kirk only nodded because he worried most about his one knee on his pants that was ripped and a little bloody. Other than that and the shaking up, he was okay though he was never the same upon entering a busy road because later on, looking twice in both directions saved his life more than once.  Some lessons are harder on some people than others.

As Kirk grew, his father insisted on most summer afternoons to accompany him to the grandparents’ farm for the afternoon dairy cow milking. The part Kirk liked about going was a usual stop at the corner store for ice cream, not that he needed more fattening food. Anyway, Kirk’s father didn’t press him to help very much though he would do some easy chores such as feeding each cow a certain amount of grain mixture. The mixture of ground grain and sweet molasses smelled good, almost like grandma’s molasses cookies that he liked to filch from her pantry.

Kirk would help with a little more of the heavier farm work as he got older, but he decided early on that being a farmer like his father was definitely not something he aspired to or ever be forced to become.  In fact, Kirk, unlike other young boys his age didn’t dream of becoming an astronaut, cowboy, fireman, or policeman, Kirk just didn’t aspire to become anything in particular and chose to purely let things fall as they may.  Leaving your future to fate may or may not be a good life philosophy, but perhaps it’d work for Kirk.  We’ll see won’t we?  

So, considering his father and grandfather, Kirk came from a long line of German descent farmers. Kirk doesn’t recall much about Grandpa R because he died when Kirk was rather young. A rather quiet grumpy man, Kirk probably inherited those traits from Grandpa R. During his heavy Sci-Fi watching days, while his father milked cows, Kirk would watch TV in his grandparent’s dining room as his grandfather slowly died in the other room. Kirk became terrified as he sat there hearing his grandfather’s coughing fits as a result of his longtime love of cigar smoking.

One real special memory with Grandpa R was when he shared an apple with little Kirk by carving off chunks with his pocket knife. Besides a scary incident with fire that will be revealed later, a memory that stuck with Kirk was a dangerous, scary incident with Grandpa R.

Grandpa R. always called Kirk’s family farm, his son’s farm, “a god-forsaken swampland.” Well, to tell the truth the farm wasn’t THAT bad. Anyway, besides not liking the farm he didn’t visit very often.  When he did visit the farm he could not do much heavy lifting, but he always wanted to be involved with farming activities that could be easily understood seeing he had been a lifelong farmer. This one time he visited was after Kirk’s father had baled some hay and readied to put it up in hayloft for storage.

Grandpa stood alongside the operating hay bale conveyor while Kirk’s father stacked hay way up in the hayloft and his mother unloaded hay from the wagon. Grandpa would straighten any bales that went up the conveyor crookedly so they wouldn’t fall off or get stuck. At one point, he got too close to the conveyor’s bottom rotating shaft. Suddenly, Grandpa let out a yell and fell over. After a hesitation, Kirk decided to yank to disconnect the power cord because there was no on and off switch for the conveyor.

Grandpa laid there writhing with his leg stuck up tight against the conveyor. Kirk stood there petrified in fear as was his mother. They never experienced a farm machinery accident which in some cases proved rather notoriously gruesome back then. Kirk’s father came down to ground level in a hurry and his mother eased off the wagon to rescue grandpa neither knowing what they would find. Kirk just stood there not wanting to look or move.

Stuck fast, Grandpa R’s pant leg had been partially ripped off after winding around the rotating shaft. After cutting his pant leg free from the machinery, he was found to have only a minor cut, but the accident could’ve been so much, much worse, alarming and bloody.  Kirk would never be the same around dangerous moving machinery. It was a frightening event in an otherwise dull life of a boy who was used to living among the creature comforts of home.

Speaking of comforts, Kirk did like to read but only what truly interested him. Somehow he got started reading the Tom Swift series early on. Tom Swift was a cheeky teenaged so-called genius who derived all kinds of odd and wondrous science fiction type of devices that named each book such as “Tom Swift and His Atomic Earth Blaster.” It was Science Fiction at its worse with cliché-driven dialog, weird, impossible inventions, and over-the-top villainous villains while the dialog was peppered with “Tom Swifties.”

Tom Swifties came about by the author overusing adjectives and/or avoiding the repetitious use of “said” with quotes such as “We must hurry!’ said Tom swiftly” or “We struck oil!’ Tom gushed.” You get the idea, though nevertheless, Kirk eventually collected the whole series and immersed himself in the stories. “I loved those books!” Kirk says affectionately.

As he grew, Kirk read all the Profiles in Courage from the school library that were short biographies of presidents, military generals, and heroes of recent history. But these books didn’t inspire him to be a courageous general, an American president, or even a heroic race car driver even though later in his teens, he’d immerse himself in automobile racing and customizing magazines and later took part in the sport. There wasn’t all that much reading involved in those car magazines, but they had lots of flashy pictures of customized cars with outrageous chrome and gaudy paint jobs. Early on, he wrote a few exciting short stories similar to those types of books and magazines that he had read but never shared those stories with anyone. In reality, Kirk had a lot of time on his own whether inside or out.

   As mentioned earlier the family dogs were Kirk’s best friends. In his preteens, he and Ruff were inseparable. Ruff as with all the family dogs lived outside and ate only table scraps or whatever they could scrounge.

Pretty much like his long-lost predecessor, Doc Pete, Ruff wasn’t exposed to many people outside of the family. Because of this isolation like his young human master, Ruff made for a good watch dog when strangers came to house, albeit vicious at times. So as history repeats itself, Ruff bit the delivery man. Either by demands made by the delivery man, the police, or the veterinarian they told Kirk’s father that Ruff needed to be put down. His father in turn told Kirk that because he was growing up, it would be his duty to do it.

Probably the saddest task he ever had to perform, Kirk took Ruff, a .22 rifle, and a shovel out to the orchard. After a resounding shot and a little while had passed, a red-eyed Kirk came back alone. He would never, ever be the same after that sad day. 

Cue: “What Else is There?” https://youtu.be/Dc3PCWhPQLc