T'was the Season

A true story about Christmas Season Fun with Kirk and his pink Bug. Included are excerpts from Kirk's life story Never the Same.

 

                Was it the Christmas when little Kirk lay under the Christmas tree listening to his favorite Christmas song, “You can’t always get what you want.” https://youtu.be/krxU5Y9lCS8  No, it wasn’t. 

                Was it the Christmas when every package unwrapped was guessed as a gun rack? No, it wasn’t.

                Was it the Christmas when Kirk’s father trimmed the tree inside with a chainsaw?  No, it wasn’t.

                Was it the Christmas when the donkey wore a Santa hat and his horse friend called him an a*s? NO, it wasn’t.

                Was it “T’is the Damn Season” https://youtu.be/RHmUppAqfjg  without Dee? Yes, it was.

                Was it the Christmas season when Kirk was away in college driving a pink VW bug? Yes, it was.

“Skaters Waltz” https://youtu.be/zirn3M3ewQc

When behind the wheel of his brightly painted pink and white VW Bug Kirk remained cocky, and so he had close calls, no doubt. Kirk slid and skidded his Bug whenever and where he could. No snow-covered parking lots were safe from his slides circles, pirouettes, spins, and twirls. Kirk though he looked like a figure skater in a VW Bug; he could hear the skating music in the rising and falling of his exhaust note.

Dashing thru the Snow

“Jingle Bells” https://youtu.be/8ZUOYO9qljs  

One time on his way home after a slushy snowfall, he just motored along like on summertime dry roads letting the slushy ruts throw the little bug around without concern. Kirk presumed that with the big studded snow tires, he’d be fine no matter what.

Suddenly, at an intersection the snow plows left a berm in the middle of his lane. Kirk saw it, but of no concern, he plowed into it. Abruptly, the large berm lifted the front of the bug and instantly slowed the front, so Kirk couldn’t steer and immediately threw him into a 360 degree spin. Twice he went around while going into the other lane where a car bore down on him from the other direction. (Maybe he should’ve sounded his horn! HA!) The wheels grabbed hold so Kirk adeptly steered away and narrowing missed the car, but with his momentum carrying him, he headed off the road with the little bug bouncing over the high snow plow berm, then down into the ditch, and out into a deep, snow-covered field.

Kirk knew he’d probably stay there stranded in the field if he lost momentum, so he downshifted and floored it. The sewing machine engine sputtered full power; the big luggy wheels dug in. In the deep snow, Kirk pushed onward paralleling the road with snow blasting out from under the fenders on four corners like a speedboat in snow, but he kept moving. He couldn’t spot a way get back on the road because of the ditch and that berm, so he just kept going�"out there in the field! 

A car slowly passed him on the road apparently incredulous with a pink VW bug blasting snow into the air as Kirk snowmobiled across the field. Soon, he found his only way back on the road as he approached a house. Kirk slowed a bit, went across these people’s front lawn, took a left on their driveway and ripped out back onto the road. Kirk was on his way again�"down the road, a little slower and maybe�"maybe a little less cocky. Perhaps he gained some necessary experience…

Snow Busting with a Special Passenger

“I’ll be Home for Christmas” https://youtu.be/dL71eMc1blw

So back in the college town, the old weird couple, particularly the old lady, started complaining because Kirk hardly ever spent weekends there in the college town and subsequently, his rented room. What difference would it make to them if I pay full for my room but don’t stay there full time? Kirk thought. Anyway, he had been going back home to work at the vacuforming job and planned to spend some quality time with Farrah for the holiday like other weekends spending entire weekends at her house, not that anything naughty was going on between Farrah and naïve, inexperienced Kirk

Anyhow, on the Friday night before the holiday there was a huge snow storm predicted with a promise of a couple feet of snow accompanied by high winds making huge Lake Effect drifts. Kirk planned on driving back home nevertheless ensuring himself that the big snow storm would make the drive more fun. The old weird lady tried to talk him out of it when he mentioned it Friday night when they watched the evening weather on TV. She also scolded him again Saturday when he prepared to head out the door. There was no deterring Kirk from a big adventure in the snow.

That morning, the storm was over and the sun shone most of the time but assuredly there was A LOT OF SNOW on the ground with a few drifts, even on the city’s side streets, daunting for most people, anyhow, but not for Kirk. Not a creature was stirring not even the snow plow drivers!  And it was bone chilling cold!

Kirk brushed the snow from around the Bug’s door estimating the snow at about a foot and a half. He crawled in and fired up the Bug’s sewing machine engine. He could hardly hear it, the snow muffling all sound. He got the long-handled snow brush out and pushed all the snow off the Bug which proved a singular task. Kirk threw the brush into in the back area (no back seat, if you recall) and made sure the hand scraper was situated up front between the seats. Kirk had gassed up the Bug the day before, and so he was all set.

Motoring down the side street where he “lived,” Kirk didn’t think the snow was too bad. The soft fluffy snow sprayed up from under the fenders and checking his rearview, he smiled at the blizzard the car threw up in its wake. When he hit the college town’s main street, Kirk found the plows had been through there. Maybe an inch or of snow remained and mixed with salt and grit it had all turned into a gray muddy concoction. Kirk thought if this was how it was going to be on the way home, driving wouldn’t be so bad�"or fun for him. The air deflated from his buoyant sails, Kirk felt a bit disgusted with the prospect of a boring drive back home. He pressed on nonetheless.

A few miles where the main street ran into the county road, Kirk’s hope for fun was rekindled for the county or state plows hadn’t been through yet. He smiled to himself as he pulled out onto the deep-snow road. One set of tracks preceded him, but in some open places the wind had completely obliterated them not leaving a trace.  Now this is fun, thought Kirk. Without tracks to follow, Kirk had to aim the Bug between the telephone poles, street signs, and the shallow snowy depressions that used to be ditches. He smiled as the muffled Bug motored on without a hiccup.

The terrain at first was relatively gentle rolling hills and he knew it well, but knowing the route so well Kirk wondered about hilly terrain later on. After his fun the other time driving through the field, Kirk knew that the Bug could push through just about any snow as long as the big luggy tires had traction whether on the road, dirt, or even ice. After that other trip off road, he realized the Bug could be stopped if snow became packed underneath enough to lift the car up causing the drive wheels to lose traction. That was the only condition Kirk feared. After a while, Kirk came up to an intersection that led into the hills. He saw two vehicles stopped with their flashers on, one on the road while the other leaned hard with one side in the ditch. That car wasn’t going anywhere.

The people stood around looking dismayed because the road ahead looked worse yet with the winds blowing big drifts across the road. Kirk pulled up as far as he dared and got out.

“Everyone okay?”  He asked.

“Yeah, but I’m not going anywhere,” said a young man about Kirk’s age.

The other older driver of a pickup truck piped up. “I can take him on.”

The young man looked at the road ahead and scanned the two vehicles. “Can you get me to Aurora?” He asked Kirk.

“Ah,” Kirk paused. “Pretty sure. It’s on my way.”

“Well, I can take him,” the pickup driver volunteered again.

“Thanks,” the young man said. “But I’m going with him.” He pointed to Kirk and the Bug.

Kirk noticed the young man wasn’t dressed too warm with sweats and a knit hat pulled down low over his ears.

“Well, the Bug isn’t too warm,” Kirk admitted as a warning. But the young man was already grabbing a big bag out of his trunk. He stuffed something red and white into his pocket. They climbed into the Bug and took off.

With the little deeper snow, Kirk found it a bit harder to pick up speed with only getting into second gear. The dread of getting stuck rose up in his throat as the snow swished loudly under the floorboards and fenders. After a few minutes with the two of them breathing inside the cold Bug, he had to use the scraper to remove the frost on the inside of the windshield. 

Knowing the bigger hills were coming up, Kirk pushed the Bug hard to get into third gear which he did�"barely. But that didn’t last long as they started up the hill. The wind had really drifted the snow along the hillside with intermittent drifts busting over the hood and blasting against the windshield. Kirk gritted his teeth and white-knuckled the wheel. The Bug’s engine lugged down; they slowed; Kirk geared down.

As they continued to climb the steeper hill, the Bug began to lug down in second gear. Kirk didn’t want to let his stress show to his passenger so he just intently focused through the small thawed hole in the windshield’s corner. The snow billowed out from around the bug with the drifts breaking and blowing over the hood more often. Suddenly, Kirk saw it! A massive drift across the road that had formed lee of a group of trees. Kirk floored it, but the Bug barely responded. POOF! The bug crashed into the huge drift and everything went dark! They’d crashed through the drift as high as the Bug’s roof.

The Bug slowed and Kirk could feel the car rise up with the deeper snow and slower speed, and he geared down to first. The big tires started to spin, but worse yet, he couldn’t see a thing! The snow had piled up on the hood and because of the slow speed it didn’t clear off.

“Quick! I can’t see! Grab the snowbrush in back and get it off the windshield. We cannot stop out here!” Kirk shouted feeling the stress of duress. He kept the Bug aimed straight ahead as it dug down got some traction but then it started spinning again getting a little traction and then spinning over and over. The Bug fishtailed back and forth fighting for traction as Kirk counter steered.

Meanwhile, Kirk’s passenger had grabbed the brush, opened his window and leaning way out, pushed the snow bank off the hood and windshield. To Kirk’s relief, he could see again and saw there weren’t any more huge walls of snow. The smaller drifts just puffed away as the Bug got traction and Kirk accelerated enough for second gear. They crested the hill only to face a massive roaring county snow blower cutting a channel through the deep snow!

 Kirk swerved to the side as the truck’s co-driver frantically waved to them, but Kirk couldn’t tell if they were congratulating them or telling them to stop. Kirk wasn’t going to stop!  He swerved back over behind the truck to where the blower had cleared the skinny channel through the deep snow. Seeing the straight-cut banks, Kirk couldn’t believe how deep some of the drifts were on the downhill. Kirk geared up and let up on the accelerator and let out a sigh. He settled back in his seat.  

Could they have ever made it through this section? Kirk wondered, but now with clear sailing ensured ahead, he thought he had enough fun for one trip! For the first time, Kirk glanced at his passenger who looked like he had been through hell. Kirk wasn’t sure if it was the snow blasting adventure or some other hell… 

“No problems now,” Kirk said plainly to reassure him.  

“Glad to hear it,” his passenger said, stowing the brush he had been holding in a steel grip. “All I got to say is, wow!’

Over the next several minutes they followed the blower channel, meeting one truck that they managed to squeeze past. At the next major intersection, they turned west toward Aurora. Being east and west, the road had been mostly blown free of snow so Kirk actually hit fourth gear for a little while.

 Soon, on the outskirts of Aurora, Kirk’s passenger guided them through a couple snow-covered side roads to a small house. Kirk’s passenger let out a long sigh when he pointed out the house where two kids played in the deep snow. Kirk pulled up to a stop.

“Want to come in?” He asked.

“No, thanks, I need to press on.”

The kids stopped playing wondering what the strange icy, snowy, pink Bug was doing at their house. Kirk’s passenger dragged his bag forward that Kirk then identified as a military duffle bag. With his back to the kids, the passenger pulled off his knit hat revealing a buzz haircut and replaced it with a Santa hat from his pocket.

“A great, exciting ride home, thanks,” the passenger said holding his hand out. “Won’t ever forget it!”

“Glad we made it!” Kirk grinned wide shaking his hand. He pointed to the kids who stood staring. “I think someone might be excited to see you.”  

The passenger grinned back and closed the Bug’s door.

Kirk sat there a second, rubbing his cold hands together before scraping the frost from the windshield when he heard the kids squealing and looked up to see them running toward their newly arrived company.

Kirk smiled as he motored on to his own Christmas rendezvous.