Never the Same IC#10 Kirk’s College Daze: Snow much Fun

On this true episodic journey we already know Kirk disliked college; he’s broken hearted; but he still has epic Bug adventures in the snow.

 

Switching from Kirk’s broken-hearted condition and his on again love life with Farrah, let’s return to fun with the pink Bug. Logically after lovingly gave the Bug its bright pink and white paintjob and made said bug cool Kirk really got to know his little underpowered Bug. After discovering the Bug’s special innate maneuvering ability, Kirk removed the catches on the previously normal operating parking /emergency brake. Now worthless for emergencies, to Kirk’s delight the brake worked perfectly to intermittently lock up the rear wheels for those special maneuvers in snowy/icy conditions just like the modern drifting cars albeit without the modern high horsepower.

Case in point:  Like a figure skater, he performed long sideways slides, twists, twirls, and pirouettes. He’d practice at speed backward parking, forward parking, sideways parking and anything else he could think of. Kirk got so adept at sliding sideways in unoccupied parking lots that he could evaluate the slip factor of the road surface, pick the right speed and timing, and while heading for an open space next to a car, he’d turn the wheel, push in the clutch, pull the brake, and slide perfectly into the space�"without incident. To be sure these were dangerous moves with real possibilities for disaster, but he didn’t have one. Kirk proud of this one unique ability, and he, no doubt, was way ahead of his time.

 All winter, he had to show off his ability whenever one of his fellow students rode with him.  Kirk would take them out to an empty parking lot to demonstrate his extraordinary driving expertise. Revving up to speed and performing the precise driving sequence, he’d slide for yards sideways and stop right up next to a piled up snowbanks. Kirk would be awfully impressed with himself, but usually his passenger just remained silent while hanging on for dear life with wide-eyed fright. 

They call themselves gearheads? They’re chicken hearted, Kirk thought.

Dashing thru the Snow

Cue: “Jingle Bells”

When behind the wheel Kirk remained precariously cocky and so, no doubt, he was destined for some close calls. One time on his way home after a slushy snowfall, he just motored along like summertime dry roads letting the slushy ruts throw the little bug around without any concern. Kirk presumed that with his big studded snow tires, he’d be fine no matter what and he’d handle everything else unexpected.

Suddenly the unexpected occurred at an intersection. A snow plow left a nearly solid slush berm in the middle of his lane. Kirk saw it, but of no concern, he plowed into it. So large was the berm it lifted the front of the bug and instantly slowed the Bug. Kirk couldn’t steer and immediately went into a spin. Twice he went around and then going into the other lane a car bore down on him from the other direction. (Maybe he should’ve sounded his horn! HA!) The wheels abruptly grabbed hold rocking the car violently, but he still rolled along at a good clip. Kirk adeptly steered away narrowing missed the car, but with his momentum carrying him he headed right across and off the road with the little bug bouncing over the high snow plow berm, down into the ditch, and out into a deep snow covered field.

Kirk knew he’d probably stay there stranded in the field if he lost momentum, so he downshifted and floored it. The sewing machine engine sputtered full power; the big luggy wheels dug in. In the deep snow-covered field, Kirk made a huge gentle arc to continue onward paralleling the road. With snow blasting out from under the fenders on four corners like a speedboat in snow, he kept moving. At first, Kirk couldn’t spot a way get back on the road because of the ditch and that berm, so he kept going�"out there in the field!  A car slowly passed him on the road apparently incredulous in seeing the pink bug blasting snow in the air as Kirk snowmobiled across the field. Soon, up ahead, he spotted his only way back on the road. He approached a house. Kirk slowed a bit before going across these people’s front lawn, then took a right left on their driveway, and finally ripped out back on the road. Kirk was on his way again�"on the road and a little slower and a little less cocky�"maybe.

 The Snow Storm Adventure

Cue: “Home for the Holidays” https://youtu.be/NT8pIpzDX0g

So back in the college town the old weird couple, particularly the old lady, started complaining because Kirk hardly ever spent weekends there in the college town and subsequently, his rented room.

 What difference would it make to them if I pay full for my room but don’t stay there full time? Kirk thought.

He had been going back home to work at the vacuforming job while planning to spend some quality time with Farrah for the holiday. He often spent entire weekends at her house not that anything naughty was going on between Farrah and naïve, inexperienced Kirk

Anyhow, on a Friday night a huge snow storm was predicted with a promise of a couple feet of snow accompanied by high winds making huge Lake Effect drifts. Nevertheless, Kirk planned on driving back home thinking the big snow storm would make the usually boring route more fun.

After an ah-hem fine meal of pork, sauerkraut, and boiled potatoes, they thought to watch the evening news especially the weather. Weather fascinated Kirk since a young age especially bad weather.

Oddly, the old lady chose to iron the mister’s tidy whiteys while the news played and the mister had smeared shaving cream over his face before sitting down. He just sat there with the shaving cream plastered on his face; Kirk couldn’t be any more speechless and flabbergasted with the whole scene.

Like meteorologists everywhere, the over-animated local weather guy gesticulated to reiterate every aspect of why the promised bad winter weather was going to occur and remarked on the countless people who would be affected. He ended up repeating the advertised “feet of snow” and “high gusty winds,” and “colder frigid temperatures” for Saturday. Taking it in, Kirk was all in, picturing himself battling the elements with his unstoppable snow vehicle.  Apparently, due to his past history of leaving for weekends, the old lady started in as she folded underwear.

“Kirk.” A hesitation to make she he paid attention. “You sure aren’t driving home tomorrow in that blizzard, are you?”  She adamantly pointed at him.

The old man had to have his say while the shaving cream was getting a little caky as he spoke. “What if your little car breaks down?” He said, probably recalling Kirk’s car problem on his first day in town.

“The car’s been really good these days. No problems at all.” Kirk shrugged and thought a second. “Ah no, I don’t think I’ll be leaving this weekend,” Kirk said, hedging his bets while pacifying the couple though they didn’t give up so easily.

“Just think if you got stranded out there�"where no one lives�"you would freeze to death,” she added.

“Fer’ surrrre,” the old man said. Now, the old couple tag teamed against him.  “Yeah, with a snowstorm this horrible bad they might not find you for DAYS out there!” The old man said wildly gesturing.

 “The roads could be closed for days!” The old lady added. “You should just stay here, staying warm and cozy, drinking hot chocolate, and watching TV with us,” she said.

Kirk cringed at the vision. “Well, yeah�"I guess. Anyway, I have some reading to do. Good night.”

“Good night, Kirk�"and�"you can sleep in tomorrow!” The old lady said, raising her voice as Kirk walked away.   

Bright and early, Kirk woke up and tried to look out the window.  A thick coating of frost now covered the window; he scraped a hole in it with his thumbnail. He had checked a few times during the night to see heavy snow falling horizontally with the strong winds. That morning bright sun shone but the wind still blew snow snakes along the surface of the snow coating and shook snow from the tree branches. Kirk was pumped!  He quickly dressed and headed downstairs. Unfortunately, THEY had already risen for the day.

“Up early?” The old lady asked, with an edge.

“Yeah, getting’ some breakfast,” Kirk said, pouring some Shredded Wheat into a bowl. As he grabbed the milk out of fridge, she jumped to the conclusion.

“Are you planning on leaving?”

“Ah, yeah,” Kirk said dumping the milk in his bowl. “I have a lot of things going on back home.”

“That girl won’t blame you for not coming one weekend,” She said. The old man just ate his runny eggs. Kirk was relieved to see he had scraped the shaving cream off last night.

“Well, Farrah would understand, but I have other things going on too.” Kirk said, before digging in his bowl.

“This morning they said on the telly that the roads ain’t even plowed,” the old man injected.

“And it’s cold!”

“I know. I’ll be okay. You won’t have to worry.” Kirk said and finished his cereal and put the bowl in the sink.

“Mind you, we warned you! Be careful. Don’t take chances. Turn around if it’s too bad. You hear?”

“Yeah, I know what you’re saying,” Kirk said, pulling on his coat.

So. Evidently. There was no deterring Kirk from a big adventure in the snow with his pink Snow Bug.

Stepping out the door that morning, the bright-blinding whiteness and the ear-shattering stillness stunned Kirk. He scanned about.  Even though the storm had ended and the sun shone most of the time, A LOT OF SNOW covered the ground with a few drifts here and there not that big though even on the city’s protected side streets, Kirk thought the situation was probably daunting for most common people, but not for him. In the quietness of the morning not a creature stirring not even the snow plow drivers!  Knee deep in the snow, he trudged out to a rather large lump of snow in the street�"the poor snow-covered Bug. Taking in the scene for a moment, the wind stung his cheeks and nose.

With his arm Kirk brushed the snow from around the Bug’s door estimating the snow at over a foot and a half. He crawled in and fired up the Bug’s sewing machine engine. He could hardly hear it, the snow muffled all sounds. He got the long-handled snow brush out and brushed all the snow off the Bug which proved a singular task. Kirk threw the brush into the back area (no back seat, if you recall) checking the folded up blanket available for cuddling with the girls was still there. Sitting behind the wheel, he made sure the hand scraper sat up front between the seats. Kirk had gassed up the Bug the day before, so he was all set.

Slowly motoring down the side street where he “lived without any real resistance, Kirk didn’t think the snow seemed too bad at all maybe even a little disappointing.

Everyone overreacted again, he thought.

Not making a sound, the soft fluffy snow puffed up from under the fenders, and he checked his rearview; he smiled at the blizzard the car threw up in its wake.

Just like driving out in a snow-covered field.

 When he hit the college town’s main street, Kirk found the plows had been through. Only maybe an inch or of snow remained and mixed with salt and grit it had turned into a gray muddy concoction though the banks were piled high. Kirk thought that if this was how it was going to be all the way home it wouldn’t be so bad�"or fun�"for him. The air deflated from his adrenalized buoyant sails, his tense shoulders slumped with the prospect of another boring drive back home. He pressed on nonetheless.

Onward out of town, a few miles where the main street runs into the county road, Kirk’s hope for fun was rekindled for the county or state plows hadn’t been through yet. Stiffening his back firmly in the bucket seat, Kirk smiled again as he pulled out onto the deep-snow road. One set of tracks preceded him, but as he soon found out that in some places the wind had completely obliterated the tracks not leaving a trace.  Now this is fun, thought Kirk. Without tracks to follow, Kirk refocused by aiming the Bug between the telephone poles, street signs, and the shallow snowy depressions that used to be ditches. The muffled Bug toughly motored on without a hiccup.

The terrain at first was relatively gentle rolling hills and Kirk knew it well, but knowing the route so well Kirk also knew about the hilly terrain later on. How will that be after this storm? After his fun the other time driving through the field, Kirk knew that the Bug could push through just about any amount of snow as long as the big luggy tires had traction whether on the road, dirt, or even ice. After that other trip off road, he realized the Bug could be stopped if snow became packed underneath enough to lift the car up and causing a loss of traction. That was the only condition Kirk feared. Cruising on for a while, Kirk approached an intersection that led into the hills. He saw two vehicles stopped with their flashers on, one on the road while the other leaned hard with one side in the ditch. That car wasn’t going anywhere without heavy duty assistance.

Some people stood around looking dismayed because the road ahead looked worse yet with bigger drifts across the road. Kirk pulled up as far as he dared and got out.

“Everyone okay?”  He asked.

“Yeah, but I’m not going anywhere,” said a young man about Kirk’s age.

The other older driver of a pickup truck piped up. “Well, I can take him on.”

The young man looked at the road ahead and scanned the two vehicles. “Can you get me to Aurora?” He asked Kirk.

“Ah,” Kirk paused. “Pretty sure. It’s on my way.”

“I already said that I can take him,” the pickup driver volunteered again.

“Thanks,” the young man said. “But I’m going with him.” He pointed to Kirk and the Bug.

Kirk noticed the young man wasn’t dressed too warm with sweats and a knit hat pulled down low over his ears.

“Well, the Bug isn’t too warm to ride in,” Kirk admitted as a warning. But the young man was already grabbing a big bag out of his trunk. He stuffed something red and white into his pocket. They climbed into the Bug and took off.

With the little deeper snow drifts, Kirk found it harder to pick up speed with only getting into second gear. The dread of getting stuck rose up in his stomach as the snow loudly swished under the floorboards and fenders. After a few minutes with the two of them breathing inside the cold Bug, Kirk used the scraper to remove frost from the inside of the windshield. 

Aware of the bigger hills up ahead, Kirk pushed the Bug hard to get into third gear which he did�"barely. With his accelerator foot near the floor, the little forty horsepower motor grunted louder but kept up. That didn’t last long as they started up the hill. The wind had really drifted the snow along the hillside with intermittent drifts busting over the hood to blast against the windshield. Kirk gritted his teeth and white-knuckled the wheel. The Bug’s engine lugged down; they slowed; Kirk geared down.

Now as they continued to climb the steeper hill, the Bug began to lug down in second gear. Kirk didn’t want his stress show so he didn’t speak he just intently focused through the small thawed hole in the windshield’s corner. The snow billowed out from around the bug with the drifts breaking and blowing over the hood more often. Suddenly, Kirk saw it, a massive drift across the road that had formed lee of a group of trees. Kirk floored it, but the Bug barely responded. POOF! The Bug crashed into the huge drift. Everything went dark! They’d crashed through a drift as high as the Bug’s roof.

Instantly, the Bug slowed. Kirk felt the car rise up with the deeper snow underneath and the slower speed, and so he quickly geared down to first. The big tires started to spin, but worse yet, he couldn’t see a thing! The snow had piled up on the hood and because of the slow speed it didn’t clear off.

“Quick! I can’t see! Grab the snowbrush in back and get it off the windshield. We cannot stop out here!” Kirk shouted, really feeling the stress of duress. He kept the Bug aimed straight ahead as it dug down, got some traction, then started spinning again, then fighting for a little traction and then spinning again over and over. Kirk counter steered as the Bug fishtailed back and forth as one tire fought for traction and then the other caught. The motor revved up with the tires spinning and then lugged down when it gained traction. Kirk said a little silent prayer.

Meanwhile, Kirk’s passenger had grabbed the brush, opened his window and leaning way out, brushed the snow bank off the hood and windshield. To Kirk’s relief he could see again and saw there weren’t any more huge walls of snow, but where was the road? He wasn’t so sure anymore. After the huge drift and the fishtailing around it was hard to tell. Now for the while the smaller drifts just puffed away as the Bug got some steady traction so Kirk accelerated enough for second gear agian. Up ahead, Kirk spotted a huge odd pillar of snow billowing off to the side and an accompanying blizzard blowing across the road. He knew what it was. When they crested the hill they faced a massive roaring county snow blower cutting a channel through the deep snow!

“What the!?” Kirk passenger shouted. “Where can we go?”

 Kirk swerved to the side as the truck’s co-driver frantically waved to them out the window, but Kirk couldn’t tell if they were congratulating them, telling them to look out or telling them to stop. Kirk wasn’t going to stop!  After passing, he swerved back over where the blower had cleared the one lane channel through the deep snow. Seeing the tall, straight-cut banks, Kirk couldn’t believe how deep some of the drifts were on the downhill. Had they crashed through drifts that huge? With only a couple inches of hard pack snow, Kirk geared up and let up on the accelerator. He let out a sigh and settled back in his seat. 

Could they have ever made it through this section?

Kirk wondered, but now with clear sailing ensured ahead, he thought he had enough fun for one trip! For the first time, Kirk really noticed his passenger who looked like he had been through hell. Kirk wasn’t sure if it was his snow blasting adventure or some other hell… 

“No problem now,” Kirk said plainly to reassure him.  

“Glad to hear it,” his passenger said, stowing the brush he had been holding in a steel grip. “All I got to say is, whoa! I never had a chance with my car! This thing is amazing.”

Kirk beamed.

Over the next several minutes they followed the blower’s channel meeting one truck that they managed to squeeze past. At the next major intersection, they turned west toward Aurora. Being east and west, the road had been mostly blown free of snow so Kirk actually hit fourth gear.

 Soon, on the outskirts of Aurora, Kirk’s passenger guided them through a couple snow-covered side roads to a small house. Kirk’s passenger let out a long sigh when he pointed out the house where two kids played in the deep snow. Kirk pulled up to a stop.

“Want to come in?” He asked.

“No, thanks, I need to press on.”

The kids stopped playing wondering what the strange icy, snowy, pink Bug was doing at their house. Kirk’s passenger dragged his bag forward Kirk identified as a military duffle bag. With his back to the kids, the passenger pulled off his knit hat revealing a buzz haircut and replaced it with a Santa hat from his pocket.

“A great, exciting ride home, thanks,” the passenger said, holding his hand out. “Won’t ever forget it!”

“Yep! Glad we made it! I won’t forget it either believe you me!” Kirk said, grinning wide shaking his hand. He pointed to the kids who stood staring. “I think someone might be excited to see you.”  

The passenger grinned back and closed the Bug’s door.

Kirk sat there a second, rubbing his cold hands together before scraping the frost from the windshield when he heard the kids squealing. He looked up to see them running toward their newly arrived company.

Kirk smiled as he motored on to his own Christmas rendezvous.