Let Him Down (Age 17)

This was, obviously enough, about a friend I lost. I only realised I'd lost him after the damage had already been inflicted. Haven't been the same since.

Some days I see him,
He's with his own friends,
A circle I'm pushed outside.
Miserable and lonely,
I'd talk to him, but only...
Instead throw my hood up,
Put my head down and hide,
I'm really a coward inside.

Hurts to think of dream-like days
When we felt like we'd never change,
Hurts to think it's my fault...
Hurts to know that I let him down,
That he felt betrayed,
He only tried to help but I cut him,
I tore at his face, tore at his soul,
Tore him to disgrace.

Sometimes I wonder if it was my blunder,
Or something that was always to come.
I wonder if maybe without that, maybe,
Would we still have grown apart?
It's pure madness in my mind,
A scar of another kind,
And I think that, from that day,
We'll never be the same.

Somewhere along the way,
I lost a friend,
But it wasn't that he died,
I just died in his eyes.