Welcome Back, dear Aya.

Aya is...

 

The whisper that sends a chill colder than winter.

The voice in my throat that causes the hardest of foes to splinter.

She is the need to want to be a winner,

The reason of my self fulfilling prophecy of human sinner.

She is the part of me that bask in darkness,

She wants to prove that my ego can crush others in largeness.

She is the want to hurt those who have provoked me,

Those who spoke to me in terms that belittled Gene.

She is my queen of evil, my love of bloodshed,

She is the painter of death, colors of black and red.

She is the wrath that comes from my tongue when I spit,

Like a scorpion sting, leading you to your last breath.

She is the much needed evil that keeps my passiveness balanced,

She is the one who commands me to use brute force in the face of challange.

She is the one who tells me to give them hell,

When they used to beat me down and make my face swell.

She made stepping stones that led me out of this dark well,

Created out of the bodies of bullies that fell.

All while using this useless shell:

This body of mine

She took over for a period of time,

And gave me nothing but darkness that didn't decline.

She ripped hole's in people who would hurt me bad,

She made psychiatrist back down until they waved their white flag.

I found christianity, and thought I didn't need her anymore,

But once again people lashed out to attack my core.

To attack my thoughts,

To attack my dreams...

A couple of nights ago,

I heard Aya scream.

Sleep paralysis,; in between conciousness and the realm of dreams-

She told me she would take it all back to make them all redeem.

I told her I wouldn't give it all,

But she could have a piece,

If need come for it, turn em into mincemeat.

I need evil in my life, it seems sometimes she takes me higher.

I feel her black feathers embrace me...welcome back, dear Aya.