“Office Zoom to Sofa Doom”

(A Tale of One Man, Five Emails, and Seven Alarms)

Monday 7 AM: Alarm goes BEEP!
He opens one eye. “Nope. More sleep.”
7:02. He's up like fire,
Wearing socks that don't conspire.

Coffee chugs him, not the other way,
He's brushing teeth while typing “Hey.”
Breakfast? Nope. Just office rage,
He’s mentally billing minimum wage.


---

Tuesday's meetings, Wednesday's doom,
By Thursday he forgets his room.
By Friday he’s a power beast"
Ten tabs open. At least.

He's pitching, planning, solving crime,
(Well...just spreadsheets, but still, on time).
His shirt is ironed, his shoes are tight,
He hasn't blinked since Monday night.


---

But then…

Saturday hits like a plot twist punch
He sleeps through breakfast, brunch, and lunch.
His body's there, his soul's on flight,
He wears pajamas. Day and night.

He scrolls. He snacks. He checks the fridge
Then walks back with a Pringles bridge.
Remotes in hand, face in a pillow,
He's flatter than a pancake-stuffed armadillo.


---

Sunday’s motto? “Move? For what?”
He might just fuse into that spot.
Gets FOMO from his own window,
Still doesn’t move. Just vibes real low.

Laundry pile? He nods and stares.
“Next Sunday. Maybe.” No one cares.
Shower? Meh. That’s next week’s dream.
He’s one with couch. A sentient cream.


---

But as the sun sets low and late,
He senses Monday at the gate…
Panic strikes! He roars, he groans
“WHERE’S MY BELT?! WHO TOOK MY PHONES?!”

He prints his soul, irons his tie,
The tornado wakes with a battle cry.


---

So here’s to those who slay all week,
But Saturdays? They barely speak.
Office lions, weekend snails
With coffee highs and laundry fails.


---

Because deep inside, we all relate
Work like storms… then vegetate. 😴🌪️"

Reviews

[Broken.buddy]

I always like reading things which are more visual , story like or a character study or from the poinit of view of an observer. this poem does all of them very well indeed

Although this poem is using way too many new gen wordings, which I have a very strong distaste for, the relatability in this is what kept me reading till the end. good sarcastic piece overall

[Neha agrawal]

That’s honestly such a fair take — and I really appreciate you sharing it so clearly. I totally get the dislike for overly "new-gen" phrasing; it can feel a bit forced or distracting sometimes. But I’m glad the story-like, observer-style flow still pulled you in. Sarcasm’s always more fun when it’s wrapped in something a little too real, right? Thanks again for reading it through — means a lot.