Mission: Lizard Impossible

This is a funny war between a human and a lizard story

"Your mission, should you choose to accept it… is to survive the night."

It started like every peaceful evening �" me, comfy pajamas, Netflix running, eating Maggi straight from the pan because plates are for people with their life together.

Then… I saw it.

On the wall.

A lizard.

Not the little "oh look how cute" type. No. This one appeared to pay rent here. It was like the Arnold Schwarzenegger of lizards. It blinked at me as if we had history.

I stood stiff
It did a push-up
That was when I realized �" this was not some lizard. This was a challenge.
---
Step 1: Choosing a weapon
I picked up:
One slipper, brand Bata, because good as any for an emergency
A broom

And a plastic container I swiped from the kitchen (Sorry, Mom, I'll replace it… eventually?)

I dubbed my operation: Lizard Se Azadi.

---

Step 2: The Plan

Plan: Corner the lizard. Trap it. Release it outside like a hero in an animal rescue video.

Reality:

I climbed on the bed.

From bed to chair.

From chair to plastic stool.

Gravity begged me to stop.

The lizard? It just stared, like "Cute. You think you're the hunter."

---

Step 3: The War Started

I threw the broom.
Lizard took off.
I ran.
The shoe went airborne and hit me in the head.
Container? Fell on the ceiling fan.

One time I could've sworn the lizard rolled its eyes.

---

Step 4: The Emotional Support Call

I called my mother.
Me: "Mum, there's a lizard in my room."
Mom: "So? Is it asking for food? Just sleep."
 

I called my BFF.
She laughed hard for 7 minutes straight, then posted on Instagram:
"Should Neha relocate due to a lizard?"
Yes: 94%
No: 6% (me and my mom)

---

Step 5: Peace Treaty

I gave in at 11:47 PM.
I shut the door, relinquished the room to the lizard, and slept in the hallway with a spoon as cover.
Why a spoon? Because the broom was still in enemy territory.

---

The Morning After

The lizard had vanished.
Or perhaps… waiting in the background.

I still walk into that room like SWAT �" lights on, slipper in hand, scanning each wall.
Because in this house…peace is temporary.

---

???? If you laughed at this…wait till you hear about the time a monkey stole my paratha and left a biscuit in return.

Reviews

[Tania Mo]

Very nice. in Vietnam we worship lizards but in Australia I kill them. Funny

[Neha agrawal]

Haha, that’s quite the contrast! Amazing how the same creature can be sacred in one place and a pest in another.

Funny thing is in India we also kill them😀

[FlatDaddy]

Well, I needed a good laugh this morning! This was hilarious! I had to google a couple of words, nothing new there, I do it all the time. Something about "cleanliness" and "flatbread" that the monkey stole. Hey, monkeys gotta eat, too! And so do lizards just looking for a little love.
A fun ride, Neha! Thanks.
FD

[Neha agrawal]

Haha, I'm so glad it gave you a laugh!

[FlatDaddy]

my plesure

[FlatDaddy]

my pleasure
somedays I can actually spell.

[Neville]

This is really quite brilliant .. and yes, I did chuckle quite a bit .. I'm guessing this is for real and not just a product of an excellent imagination .. Write on & always .. Neville

[Neha agrawal]

Thank you so much, Neville your words mean a lot.

[Neville]

and every single one of em meant .. 😎👍

[petec3638]

Good story and laugh
So you didn't actually SEE it leave the house
Iy could still be hiding under a bookcase

NO Don't go and empty that full and heavy bookcase
It could be behind your fridge

OR perhaps have a secret entry to your house
Is it going to bring back all its lizard friends?

Check outside for signs of a lizard congregation
Perhaps they will form a procession with banners
'' Freedom for lizards ''
or
'' Lizards forever ''
Better '' Lizards come in peace ''

Or has it decided that human homes are not for natures beautiful creatures,
and gone away to some woodland home

[Neha agrawal]

😂 I love the image of a lizard protest with banners “Lizards come in peace” needs to be on a T-shirt. Let’s just hope it’s not recruiting more behind the fridge!

[petec3638]

more funny ones > Please

[hiren]

I liked how you made lizard to a person my son liked lizards and had as pet also. He just scared cockroach but not lizard. I am not scared of lizard from far that may be anything. I just don't harm they are just simple beings that don't hurt still people scared of it I don't know.
I liked the different style of exploring writing. But it looked funny.

Maybe I shall try your style.

Jessy Jacob

[Neha agrawal]

Thank you🙏

[willweb]

That was funny and I could picture each phase of your big game hunting adventure. : )

[Neha agrawal]

Thank you🙏