Vrindavan Monkey Chronicles

A Story by Neha agrawal

In Vrindavan, the monkeys don’t want your bananas ,they want your assets.

Vrindavan �" the holy city of temples, cows, and spirituality.
Also: the headquarters of Monkey Mafia Pvt. Ltd.

If you’ve never been, let me explain the rules:

1. Bananas are a joke. Don’t even try.

2. They don’t want your love. They want your stuff.

3. The official currency here? Fruity mango drink.

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Case 1: Monkey vs Paratha

Rhea was on a peaceful spiritual trip. Which, in her case, meant dressing in a cotton kurta, clicking 500 photos for Instagram, and eating her way through every street stall.

She had just bought a hot, buttery paratha from a vendor �" golden brown, crispy, and stuffed so generously it could have solved world hunger.

Then came… Him.

A giant monkey dropped from a temple roof like Spiderman on cheat day.
One snatch �" paratha gone.

But here’s the thing:
In Vrindavan, paratha means nothing.
Only Fruity matters.

The monkey sat on a wall, holding the paratha, and pointed at a shop like, “You know the drill.”
Rhea, being a law-abiding tourist, bought a ₹20 Fruity.

The trade was smooth:

Monkey dropped the paratha (now with paw prints and mystery smell).

Monkey grabbed the Fruity.

Bit the packet like a pro.

Chugged it in one go.
Then �" I swear on every holy cow �" he burped and nodded at her like, “Pleasure doing business.”

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Case 2: Monkey vs iPhone

Two streets later, Rhea thought the monkey drama was over.
Oh, sweet summer child.

She was taking a photo of a temple with her shiny iPhone when WHOOSH! �" another monkey snatched it and leapt to the roof.

Crowd gathered.
Someone whispered, “Madam, Fruity le aao. Bas wahi chhodenge.”

Rhea ran, bought another Fruity, shook it like an offering.
The monkey stared.
She wiggled the packet.

BAM �" phone dropped into her hands.
Monkey jumped down, snatched Fruity, and walked off sipping like James Bond.
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The Moral of Vrindavan

In most cities, people carry pepper spray for safety.
In Vrindavan?
You carry Fruity.

It’s not a drink.
It’s currency.
It’s monkey diplomacy.
It’s the real Apple Care.

There are so many cases like this so..... Enjoy.
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If you enjoyed this… wait till you hear about the Auto Rickshaw Olympics, where driver took a shortcut through my soul.

© 2025 Neha agrawal

Author's Note

This is reality.

In Vrindavan, monkeys don’t just swing from trees, they run a full-time robbery and ransom business.
They will snatch your sunglasses, cap, food, water bottle, even your phone… and if you don’t act fast, they might just break it right in front of you.

The only way to get your belongings back? Fruity.
Yes, mango juice in a tetra pack is the official monkey currency here.

So if you ever visit Vrindavan, be aware of… monkeys.
And keep a Fruity in your hand at all times .It’s not a drink here, it’s survival gear.

My Review

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Reviews

Soren

This poem casts its spell in words and images of a place that I have never been taking me to an exotic place I have seen in pictures but never visited. The magic of poetry conveying one on a vacation instantly without cost of more than time. A lovely trip. I thank you