Another Vrindavan Chronicles

A Heist by Monkeys and Humans Alike.

The first time I went to Vrindavan, it wasn’t a trip. It was… a live-action comedy.
I went with my maternal family, expecting temples, devotion, and maybe some jalebis. Instead, climate change (or my stomach’s rebellion) struck. I vomited through the entire galiyan of Vrindavan like some kind of human sprinkler system. My family was horrified. The locals were amused. I was famous for at least 3 streets.

And then the monkeys happened.
First victim: my mom.
Crime: Specs snatched.
Ransom: One Fruity.
Verdict: Monkey returned the specs without a scratch.

Second victim: my badi mummy.
Crime: Specs partially broken.
Ransom: Fruity.
Verdict: Monkey returned them but… slightly upgraded into “designer cracked” edition.

Third victim: my brother.
Crime: Specs fully destroyed.
Ransom: Fruity.
Verdict: Monkey took the drink… and kept the specs. Somewhere in Vrindavan, there’s a monkey reading a newspaper wearing my brother’s glasses.

Naturally, this led to the Great Family Street Fight of Vrindavan a shouting, blaming, finger-pointing match that made us look like background extras in a Bollywood drama.

This was just a trailer but the whole movie is awaiting for the 2nd visit......
---

Fast forward to my second trip, this time with my in-laws.
Mission: my sister-in-law’s daughter’s hair-cut ceremony.
Mood: Sacred and peaceful.
Reality: Monkeys were waiting for us like old friends.

Victim: my brother-in-law
Crime: Specs stolen before breakfast.
Ransom: Fruity.
Verdict: Monkey (fresh off a morning fight with his wife) took the drink and still broke the specs. By now, I’m convinced Fruity is their black-market currency.

We prepared for the pooja and haircut. All was going well… until the hairdresser came late. Very late. We roasted in the temple like peanuts in the sun. Finally, the haircut happened, the pooja was done, but then the food shortage began.

We went to buy more food. Midway, we realised:

We forgot to ask the quantity.

We didn’t have cash.


So back to the temple, cash in hand, buy food, return all while my patience level was measured in negative numbers.


---

Evening came.
We decided to step out in an auto for some sightseeing.
Enter: the sequel to the specs-snatching saga.
The monkey again targeted my brother-in-law. This time, he wasn’t giving up without a fight.

Picture this:
Monkey on a shop roof.
Brother-in-law climbing onto a paan shop like a Bollywood hero.
Family shouting like a cheering crowd.
Monkey shocked by the audacity threw the specs down. Victory was ours.


---

But Vrindavan wasn’t done with us.

We had a train to catch, and we were already late. So we split:

My daughter, husband, father-in-law, and I went to collect luggage.

The rest ran straight to the station.


Traffic in Vrindavan moves slower than divine blessings, so by the time the others reached the station, the train was already arriving.
Cue the slow-motion chase:
They ran on the bridge, bags flying, kids being dragged, shouting “Chalo! Chalo!”
They jumped onto the train like action heroes.

We? We missed it.
To make it worse, my daughter’s bottle and all her stuff were with the others.
So we fed her whatever we could find, took another train, and finally reached home exhausted, glasses-less, but with enough monkey stories to last a lifetime.


---

Moral of the story:
If you ever go to Vrindavan…
Carry a Fruity.
Carry extra specs.
And never ever underestimate the monkeys.

Author's Note

The first chronicle of Vrindavan for me personally was a collection of events that I had witnessed there but I wanted to tell my story personally.

However, the events that happened there were both astonishing and bizarre for me and my family.

The moment we arrived at the scene, it felt like we entered the world of a Bollywood film. The place was full of pandemonium, it had comedy, there were drama like sceneries, and not to forget, monkeys were everywhere. Monkeys literally everywhere.

People lost their specs, Fruity bottles were being used to barter for family squabbles, family drama erupted in the open, there were delays in functions, trains almost got missed, and we found ourselves scaling paan shops to defend our dignity.

By the time we got back, home in the end, we all agreed that it was hilarious to think about, but we also felt the need to acknowledge that this was not simply a family outing to vrindavan.

It was a full blown movie and we were the main characters.

Reviews

[Lorry]

Sorry to laugh at your trauma, but this was funny. Especially seeing as how Scotland has somehow narrowed monkey crime to practically zero, apart from standing too close to the bars at zoos. I wonder if starburst would work as well as fruit's! 😃
Just think, you could have gave your daughter some fruity if the monkeys hadn't drank it! 😃

[Neha agrawal]

Haha, no worries — I laughed reading your review too! 😄 thank you reading my story 😊

[Thomas W Case]

Fantastic work. You make it come to life.

[Neha agrawal]

Thank you🙏

[Samuel Dickens]

I love true stories about the adventures of real people, and this one is just terrific. Vrindavan sounds like a wild and festive place which only the brave should visit. Since I wear glasses, I'll only go there with blurry vision. (spectacles safely stowed in a pocket)

[Neha agrawal]

Thank you for the review. If you ever get a chance to visit vrindavan keep your specs safe...

[Miss Marlette]

This looks very much like another writer I read here. Broken Buddy. You've certainly done his style plenty of justice.

[Neha agrawal]

That’s such a kind comparison , thank you. I’ll take it as a compliment to be mentioned alongside Broken Buddy’s style.i like his work too.

[Soren]

A fun story that points out that life is full of adventure that can be learned from. Often we fail to learn on first occasions and need repeated lessons. If we can look back on these with a sense of humor life will be enjoyable. A lovely write

[Neha agrawal]

Thank you so much ! that’s exactly the spirit I hoped to capture. Life’s little repeat lessons do go down easier with a smile.

[Soren]

You are most welcome

[Soren]

A fun story that points out that life is full of adventure that can be learned from. Often we fail to learn on first occasions and need repeated lessons. If we can look back on these with a sense of humor life will be enjoyable. A lovely write

[Neha agrawal]

Thank you so much ! that’s exactly the spirit I hoped to capture. Life’s little repeat lessons do go down easier with a smile.

[Neville]

a compelling read write from one end to the other .. unfortunately now I can't remember the exact location but we experienced something very similar .. now amusing but at the time quite frightening .. write on my friend .. you do it so well .. Neville

[Neha agrawal]

That means a lot, Neville,thank you. Funny how moments that once made our hearts race now make us smile.

[Neville]

... You bet 😎💛👍

[lost?]

hahhaaa! thats true! those mischievous thieves! they dont leave a single one. that's one of a memory. love the way u story tell

[Neha agrawal]

Hahaa exactly! They’re like stealthy pickpockets of peace. you blink once and poof, there goes your energy, your mood, maybe even your last bit of patience. But hey, at least it makes for a memorable plot twist in life’s story.