Unfinished

Unfinished

 

This Poem is a song

For you

Without a tune

A testament

A symphony

Of lost moments

Fragmented like the

Splinters of a

Fractured shot glass

 

How I long and yearn

And ache for thee

My friend

To be whole again

As once we were

Like one

Yet still led blindly

 

To bend you naked

Stretched and

Taught as canvas

Then taste and think

Of all those

Things important

Château la tour and acid

Love death god and sex

 

Yes my god with a

Small G as always

Then dare to hold me

As I struggle and tightly

Make my next moment

A moment on Monet’s palette

A sigh of Cohen breath

 

Do not mention

Love tho

For you would only spoil it

This moment our moment

This here and this now moment

Rejoice instead and lay 

Upon me as a friend 

As indeed a lover might

Reviews

[keith]

you know my thoughts on these moments you write so energetically
so no need to repeat myself
all here are of the past possibly the present and could/should be the future?
another well thought out and written verse easy to read easy to sing easy to understand

[Neville]

thank you kindly sir for checking in & checking out my little scribble .. always a pleasure to read your opinion and impressions my friend ... Neville

[Anita Frader]

A poem that seeks closure from a lover. A plea to finish something started.
The sigh of Cohen moved me as it brought to mind another great poet.
All around a beautiful poem that is bathed in longing and desire for someone unforgettable.

[Neville]

Shall we call that a wrap then .. bless you Anita F .. Neville P

[Anita Frader]

That's a wrap. :)

[Soren]

Traces of the classic and romantic here that take one to another world, a dream world where love is deeper and more than in this one. A very peaceful feel and one of the eternal. Beautifully worded.

[Neville]

I really can't thank you enough, but I do thank you bigly and true .. Neville

[Thomas W Case]

Wow. Tremendous work. You evoke lots of emotion here. Truly excellent.

[Neville]

how extraordinarily kind of you Thomas .. thank you & true .. Neville

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Wow, Wow and wow! Neville, this was so good! Your word choice and imagery are just wow! So much emotion and passion could be felt!

[Neville]

you are far too generous my friend and I feel totally spoilt after your very encouraging & otherwise welcome and heart-warming scribble reading spree .... Neville x

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

You are welcome!

[lightsong]

sentimental, bringing all these emotions to flow like a brook, deep yearnings, trust, giving, passions, calmness... You wait for her with assurance yet with burning desires, to be a friend as only the best of friends can be, take it easy before making those old memories real again, the unfinished love will continue soon again, You used these words "again","Yes my god with a, Small G as always" and I just love them again, it has that special touch of Neville, beautiful song my friend, beautiful emotions those which You allowed us to feel, Thank You.

[Neville]

my word, what an absolutely delightful comment you have left me.. thank you so very much my friend.. :)

[Ken Simm.]

Now after my lie down I've come back to look again. Splinders of shot glass. Excellent. There is power here as well as some raunchiness but subtle raunchiness. Just to show there is such a concept. And therin lies its beauty. A moment on Monet's pallete now that is astounding and something I am going to enjoy for a long time.
Simply a beautiful thing that is savoured like a long kiss.

[Neville]

cor blimey mate.. now coming from a geezer that knows a bit about writing and painting and and stuff, that is one helluva nice thing to say.. and get this.. I am a very grateful chap indeed... N

[Chris Shaw]

The most important aspect of this poem is its title. Unfinished says it is ongoing. Good friends are precious. Losing friends is painful. Those lost moments like splinters of a fractured shot glass remind me of losing a whole shelf of crystal wine glasses. The shelf collapsed, it was upsetting but the sunlight caught every shard and there were diamonds dripping everywhere, illuminating the whole room. "Make my next moments a sigh of Cohen's breath or a moment on Monet's palette" Incredibly beautiful. If she can do that for you giving you that inspiration then you have struck gold. There were references to the past here, maybe things unshared but lived through. I love where your lines take me.

Chris

[Neville]

Friends are indeed important our Chris.. they make the world go round, no end....... thank you too for your lovely & as always encouraging words... Neville

[Chris Shaw]

My delight Neville :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

friends with benefits? no romantic ties to soil the dress of emotion...sounds like some relationships from the sixties and seventies...no jealousies, no trust issues...just living and loving in the moment.
j.

[Neville]

those were indeed the days my friend.... Mary Hopkin if my memory serves me well.. cheers jacob my friend.. N

[Mrudula Rani]

This is a love letter to the one you shared most precious moments and history.... your love and your friend. A beautiful declaration of devotion . Almost a love story!

[Neville]

almost, maybe.. it was writ for a friend, my friend and thank you :)

[Mrudula Rani]

You are most welcome.

[Neville]

sometimes, I just dont know how to thank you, but I thank you nonetheless...

[Mrudula Rani]

You need't thank me at all ... I know the feeling of appreciation and it is mutual my dear friend.

[Neville]

Then I recline here smiling x