Flying is a lot like falling

An ode to Icarus

Dear Icarus, 

From the moment I laid my eyes upon you, 

I saw the fire in your soul. 

That light, that heat, you burn to be airborne. 

You burn like fire, bend like gold. 

Your soul, it calls upon the great skies, 

yearns for freedom, longs to fly. 

But you were cursed to be born wingless, 

bound to earth as birds fly by.

There in your eyes, I see a shimmer,

a glimpse of hope to dance there, too.

But everyday, you’re more a mirror

to everything you cannot do.

I hope you know I see your struggle,

know your pain as you push through.

That every time you try, you stumble,

your goal impossible to do.

And yet I watch you climbing higher,

trying harder every time,

your mirror darkened with desire

You know for sure some day you’ll fly

And then, one day, you’re gifted magic,

a pair of wings you made by hand.

A gift that soon turns your tale tragic,

but one that frees you from the land.

There in your eyes, rekindled fire

burns as hopes and dreams come true. 

But fueled now, your flame grows wild

warnings died, for once, you flew.

Up above, the sun is calling

as you fly faster, higher still

I call your name, but you don’t answer

too far away to trust your skill

I hope and pray that you won’t falter,

that you might make it to the top,

but deep inside I know the water,

I know this ends as it begun.

For all your life, you worked to get here

I fear that nightmare, dream’s now gone

I watch you climb before you give in

I watch you reach your goal and fall

I look for pain, but see you’re smiling,

framed by tears and warmed by love.

You’ve danced and shown what you’ve been hiding

It makes me wonder what you saw. 

I’m sure i’m not alone in mourning,

but I don’t know who else was there

Like tears, the rain could’ve been pouring, 

yet love and sunlight filled the air.

Oh Icarus, how well I know you,

I lived your longing, flight and fall

I traced your steps with more than you knew

I hope you know I lived it all. 

And everyday, you’re more my mirror,

everyday I fought, I failed

we’ve bled red blood and golden ichor,

we fell and hurt, but I prevailed.

Long as I live, I’ll tell your story

of how you fell, of how you flew,

of how you died, but lived in glory

How flight, like you, is my dream too. 

For as I speak, the story changes

and slowly your name turns to mine

The tale of how I climbed like you did,

perhaps I should’ve seen the signs. 

My soul, like yours, it longs for freedom,

yearns to take off for the sky

but unlike yours, my wings can’t beat them

and unlike you, I’ll never fly

For just like you, I climbed much higher

than I ever should’ve done

I fought, got burned, but the fall inspired

and now in writing forms my throne.

So I will take flight in my writing,

lend your name like it’s my own.

I’ll tell your story, that of fighting,

and I will make our names be known.

Author's Note

What feeling does the piece give you and are there any sentences that relaly stick of pop out for you?
I'm not fully certain about paragraph 8 ("up above, the sun...trust your skill"), do you think it works well? How could it possibly be improved?
thank you so much for reading!

Reviews

[Nel Volune]

I've gotta say...

I wasn't inspired at first by the topic of the poem. The thing is no matter how hard people try they still have their own bias. So yep, even tho i tell myself to always read before i judge, i had my bias coming into this one.

And oh damn, you swept it away OuO
Like Neha already pointed out, you made this very story yours. I can only admire the turn it takes when you reshape the stanzas you used for Icarus into stanzas that fit you.
What's interesting in your take, is the point of view. YOU are the one to share your experience on how the myth was created. You are the one to mourn the poor Icarus. You are the one to keep on alimenting his idea of freedom through your own.

And yeah, there are some minor mistakes, a little repetition or just... words that would better fit sometimes, but honestly ? We don't care.

What matters is the message.
You might fail, burn down, get dishonored...
But if it's this or living forever without knowing freedom, then...

Yep message is what matters.
And the delivery was a 100 :)

[Nightmist]

Thank you so incredibly much!
Even if we try our best, a part of us will always be entwined with out writing, in Greek mythology you see so many different ways a story goes, so many different retelling with different points of focus. But often it's not per se about how we tell a story but rather why we tell it, what we want to say with it. I'm very glad that got through so well and I'm very happy you liked my take on this myth.
Thank you.

[Neha agrawal]

You didn’t just rewrite Icarus’s story. You reclaimed it.It’s not just a letter to Icarus. It feels like a letter to anyone who’s ever tried too hard, dreamed too loud, too closed. Honestly! Amazing work!

[Nightmist]

Thank you so much, it really means a lot. Icarus has always been a strong symbol of trying too hard and burning out, but I wanted to show what else that could bring, the light side of failling, falling.
Again, thank you so much for your comment!

[damienf]

Hi Nightmist

It's not easy to draft a poem that's pretty cogent in metaphor across so many stanzas. Good job on that. It comes across as deeply felt musing on struggle and loss, with the spark of recovery and ambition growing brighter. Could it be better? Of course, what can't?

Only a recommendation, but play with a stanza or two worrying less about rhyme, and more about choosing shocking words, beautiful words, descriptive words, emotional words. See which you prefer, and take it from there.

Good luck, Damien.

[Nightmist]

Hi Damien, Thank you so much!
I usually do write more loose poetry, less focused on rhyme and more on flow and fitting wording, but for this one I wanted to try actually using rhyme and very steady rythm. I do think it could improve if I let that go just slightly so I can actually use more fitting words, thank you for the feedback!

[damienf]

That's the cool thing about writing, it's one of very few things in life we have agency and authority over.

And you've chosen interesting topics to explore here. Enjoy!