Close Your Eyes

Late Night Thoughts

At night when I go to sleep,

Seeing you there, my heart skips a beat.

You wait there with a smiling face,

I stare you feeling that moment of ace.

Holing you closer I look into ur eyes,

To see them filled with love n pride.

Leaning on my shoulder u hug me tight,

Taking my burdens n making it light.

Close ur eyes n come to me,

In this world v r meant to be.

As sun rises, you move away,

I wake up in the bitter reality of today.

Sometimes I wish u could always be there,

To share my sorrow, the pain I bear.

Waking up, i search u around,

But None of ur traces could be found

Was it truth or a situation i deemed,

Will It come true or remain a dream?

Close ur eyes n come to me,

In this world v r meant to be.

Reviews

[Laura Lynn]

I like it to, it's just more simple a love poem, a bare bones state...

I'm interested in the linguistic and orthographic quality of " i search u around,/But None of ur traces could be found/ Was it truth or a situation i deemed,/ Will It come true or remain a dream?"

so it does emphasize the sound and forces the reader to hear when only one letter is spoken 'v r meant to be' like missing letter in code w/ possibilities or 2-4 separate or triple meaning

reading it over again, the first stanza this is funny, sort of a buzzy, giddy feeling to it, most of the lines are buzzy like this except for, the only coldness I see is in the "Will it come true of remain a dream?" ...the line has to be there and not every line can hold the same impact or emotional weight of the previous, just like every part in a gear shift working is a different shape or several different size parts of varying shapes

[Nitesh Mahabal]

Glad u reveiwed it laura. Thanks alot (:

[harley98]

I enjoyed this alot. Very sentimental it seems like

[Nitesh Mahabal]

Late night emotions!!! :p

[harley98]

That's sweet. Keep writing. :)

[Tasfia Islam]

At night when I go to sleep,
Seeing you there, my heart skips a beat.

I loved this two lines.....And overall, it was great...

[Nitesh Mahabal]

Thank U so mch Maam

[Prabha Salimath]

So beautifully written, it takes a single start to read it, comprehensible, well I wish your dream come true.

These lines are very meaningful for a girl

" As sun rises, you move away,
I wake up in the bitter reality of
today.
Sometimes I wish u could always be
there,
To share my sorrow, the pain I bear.
Waking up, i search u around,
But None of ur traces could be
found
Was it truth or a situation i
deemed,
Will It come true or remain a
dream?"

[Nitesh Mahabal]

Thank U so Mch Maam. It Was So Encouraging

[Prabha Salimath]

you are welcome.

[Nitesh Mahabal]

hmmmmmm :)