Catfish

"on the movie"

Lies, Lies and only lies

is what you told me

when I was least expecting it

when your eight year old

was painting

what I shot with my life

when parcels and boxes came in

with affection and tiny little cards

and unscrupulous writings of a teenager.

 

Yes I fell in love with you,

A self, a mirror self of someone

I never knew

Beautiful, yes

Talented, yes

What was there not to fall for?

 

On top of that,

Cell phone numbers, house addresses

'real' pictures, almost real voices.

I was dying, literally screaming

in my insides

to have found you

to have found love

at unlikely, unworthy

an almost unbelievable place.

 

The real you was a shamble

A creep in mind

A creep at heart

Self pity and failed dissociated life

does not allow you to recreate those

that the world never meant for you

False choices never meant

games could be played

characters made

on invisible chessboards

moving back and forth

pawn, knights, bishops and queens.

 

I am still vaguely in love with the

you

I thought you were

Visually, that you is married with kids

and a different life.

Mentally, that you is creepy and fertile

and vaguely attractive.

 

But

what's to perception?

images built on mind

after events piled higher

one after other

on mind's endless space

There was quite enough

for a house,

a nice garden,

some nice music,

some exquisite paints,

some beautiful photos,

a couple of great looking kids,

a lot of love

and a little bit of belief.

 

Instead,

there's bleak, green deception

electronically

mentally

physically

emotionally

decoded

&

drained

by now.

 

© Nothing Personal. May 13, 2011

Reviews

[Poeticadia]

I haven't seen the movie, but this fast paced documentary poem portrays a tragic narrative of a man who falls in love with a deceptive fiction woven by a woman. And this i'm sure is accurately true about so many 'virtual' romances where the correspondants have "found love" just to discover one or other of them has been less than truthful... playing dangerous games with others' emotions.


The message in the poem comes across so clearly in the narrative... it really had me thinking about 'virtual' relationships... a topic which interests me greatly. Great writing!