Killing Ivy

7/3/13 We cannot help suffocate the people that we love, to our own detriment, often we love so much the colour drains from our loved ones. Perhaps poison would be a gift to many

I am the ivy you deter,
The weed you prefer to expel
For its sweet suffocation.

I hold,
An adhesive for ashes
Already departing in the crystal wind.

By design here lies a danger,
Beyond the grave a virtuous stranger to many
For the self given gift of poison.

I remain a vine of remorse
Though alas my nature is condemning.
A curse demanding pesticide,
An honest face I cannot hide
Is loyal to your asphyxiation.

What a tender damnation
I provide for my beloved.
A tremendous fate to have faith in Armageddon,
In amor that whispers crimson

Author's Note

I really need to write more, seems my creativity is lacking due to being so busy with other things!!! Opinions would be appreciated!

Reviews

[Kyle Sky]

Truly symbolic and beautifully versed. The imagery captured a picture of a weeded garden. The use of contradicting words, like "tender damnation", also provides a true presence of the irony of the whole idea. How one's love strangles the essence of the loved one. Amazing piece.

[Ohhhwillow]

Great review, thank you Kyle, your kind response is of great value!

[Tarry Franck]

Good job Willow - really like this one.

[Ohhhwillow]

Thank you for reviewing!

[Baby Ricochet]

"Sweet Suffocation" That's great. "A curse demanding pesticide" that's pretty good too. It definitely has the emotional impact I believe you were shooting for. Great Job Willow.

[Ohhhwillow]

Definitely was one close to heart, rather a poem of feeling than thought, definitely fuelled by self awareness. Thank you Baby

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i was in and out of this one...liked a lot of it...

some really different imagery involved...and i saw that suffocating that we can do to others...we poison our relationships with mistrust, smothering..


the vines choke the flower..before it can open fully...we have to let others be who they are...and let them come to us.

overall...liked it..4th stanza could be honed to be smoother rhythmically..
and third line should be "its"

enjoyed this read and will be back for more.

you are refreshing with your different wording.

jacob

[Ohhhwillow]

I'll make a point to review that line, and thanks for reminding me of the "its" part! :) Glad you enjoyed it

[Tai Ryens]

I had depression in mind as the vine. Then again I always find a way to plaster everything with my depression. Enticing nonetheless, great write.

[Ohhhwillow]

I know what you mean, it is a consuming state, often invading other thoughts.. But alternative interpretations are always welcomed! Thanks Tai :)

[Frieda P]

Haunting this one....perhaps poison indeed. I can barely breathe reading this, you've written suffocation well.

In armor that whispers crimson

Great line, the things we do to loved ones....!

[Ohhhwillow]

Sometimes distance between the people we care about is a necessary evil! Thanks Frieda

[MandaBear]

I liked it. I liked how you made me like you were the vine! great job

[Ohhhwillow]

Unfortunately Amanda, I am! Thank you

[Gerald Parker]

A possessive love that suffocates - this is powerfully expressed by your imagery. Well done. You might want to change it's to its, and expuld to expel.

[Ohhhwillow]

Thank you Mr.Parker, I'll be sure to make those adjustments as soon as possible!

[Salar Majak]

A tremendous fate to have faith in Armageddon,
In amor that whispers crimson

if this is LACKof creativity then i can't wait to read your most of creativity!
this is truly AMAZING!!
I mean, did you read the title????
beautiful!!

[Ohhhwillow]

Haha wow thank you Aurora for your kind review!

[Salar Majak]

:D

[Winchester Saltgunner]

ur not lacking hun we all get blocked at some point just relax and let it flow hun it will come to u sooner or later just write what feels right to you

[Ohhhwillow]

You're right, thanks Sam, your reviews always pick me back up and help me carry on! :)

[Winchester Saltgunner]

awww thx i try wat i can

[quinfinn]

i don't think your creativity has suffered any. this is a fiercely compelling and an accurate analogy of a smothered relationship. the use of a clinging vine as a metaphor is profound and resonant. this is eloquent prose, well done!

[Ohhhwillow]

Thank you! I really wasn't sure about this.. So that means a lot :)

[quinfinn]

good job!