Firefighter

For the ones you love

Firefighter

 

With worries en-route to your mind,

And intrusions spark,

To cause some doubt,

I will put a smile on your face,

To dampen the flames,

I will be your firefighter,

 

9.29

You can't sleep,

Trying to control those worries,

In this crazy last week,

So let's lock our fingers together,

Wrap our legs like a squid.

Fight the blaze as one,

To continue the great journey we have begun.

 

I will be your firefighter,

No matter how many troubles arise,

Because you extinguished the flames,

On my fiery side.

 

With one half of me missing,

From past embers that used to burn.

You fought all my fires,

A gift I'd love to return.

Reviews

[richieb]

Owen, beautiful poem, shows the commitment of a true relationship. Richie B.

[Owen Aldin]

Thanks richie!

[SnowCat]

I enjoyed this poem it speaks to me. There is great imagery and passion in the words you use. Not everyone finds someone who calms their fires and ignites their light and gives them reason to love them with everything they have. This was a good read thank you for sharing

[Owen Aldin]

No problem, glad it spoke out to you!

[747]

I love how you end this piece. Though bittersweet, wonderfully said.

S3, L2 "how any troubles" I believe you misplaced an "m"

As for the "wrap our legs like a squid" debate... I see both sides. Yes, with all the talk of fire, a squid seems a bit inappropriate. However, in this poem, you are standing together to FIGHT fire, hence you are of water so being a squid makes sense.
I dunno. Double edged sword. Leave it, change it, either way I think would work.

Overall, a great expression. Good job.

[Owen Aldin]

Thank you for the feedback D.L. I guess its one of the things I love about writing, its so useful to see how others portray the work. Thank you for pointing out the error as well. I have now corrected this.

[747]

I think that half the things we write, we share just to see if others will understand them; what we wrote and what we meant. And such is life ...
Looks good. Happy to help.

[Cyndy Robinson]

How about "wrap legs like tongue to flame"? I agree with Ian Faraway on that. It is a beautiful poem.

[Owen Aldin]

Thank you Cyndy. I am glad you liked the poem and, I agree with you and Ian that the line does stand out somewhat. I will have a think about it, but certainly something to consider for future writing!

[Ian Faraway]

I love this poem and it definitely shows the fiery passion that love can bring. The only thing I have a problem with is "Wrap our legs like a squid." It doesn't necessarily work with the poem. The whole poem is about fire and intimacy and a squid is basically a water creature that doesn't do much with intimacy. But other than that, I loved the passion I felt when reading this. Good job! Keep writing!

[Owen Aldin]

Thank you for the feedback. Its useful to know as on reflection, you make some very valid points, especially as it could come across quite contradictory. Always good to see it from a different set of eyes.

[Ian Faraway]

Trust me, I know how a different set of eyes could be very influential. Keep up the good work!

[BrokenAngel]

This really hit home with me because of my other half. He is actually a firefighter. You really did well with everything. It all ties in together and is amazing. Great Job on this piece.

[Owen Aldin]

Thank you so much! It must be real tough for you, but I guess really positive to know your other half has such crucial job in helping others!