Wishing for Christmas

every emotion piled into one...mixture of love, pain and hope (which is not what I normally do....hope)

My Christmas wishes aren't much
But what I do long for is his gentle touch
His voice singing in my ear
I am so glad that you're here
With him I know no pain
Oh how I love how he says my name
I love knowing that I'm in his heart
Knowing that we'll never part
Oh Goddess I still wish I could change the past
I'm still wounded....that pain always lasts
I hope that my wish may actually come true
But the probability of that happening doesn't look good
But sometimes it doesn't really hurt to hope
I guess its what I use to cope
*Sigh* I wish everything was different
Before that heart-wrenching event
Then maybe I could smile more often
Wait....never mind
The last few days have been the worst
I just want to SCREAM!!!!
Trying to cope with the pain
Maybe be more guarded
Yeah...That's my Christmas wish.