Lovers

Lovers

United in flesh

such carnal satisfaction

In pleasure I weep.

Reviews

[Leslie Philibert]

As someone who has been married for over thirty years, after a certain age you weep before the carnal satisfaction, but there you go....

[Frieda P]

ha! ;-)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Should never happen lol thanks Leslie

[Frieda P]

Intense as always. Weeping in pleasure is the only way to go. ;-)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Ha indeed!

[Kajal Gulabani]

Nice ! Though I am not into haiku and senryu.. I found it deep..

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Kajal

[quinfinn]

don't know what you call it, but, i like it. well done

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Try senyru lol

[KAOlmsted]

Nice. I'd personally lose the "true" in the first line and call it a Senryu, but there are people who say syllable count doesn't matter if it's written in English. Anarchists :-p

:-D

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Kimmer my-dear you are right don"t know how I got it so wrong.The Japanese don"t use syllables thy use on

[KAOlmsted]

I know, but I am not Japanese, so I use syllables ;-) And Ha! If you wrong, sweet John, the world don't wanna be right ;-)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Darling check Wikipedia lol

[KAOlmsted]

I'd rather write a rhyming love poem (in case you missed the sarcasm...that's a resounding, "I hate Wikipedia!") *laugh* I'm sticking with Tanka from now on...a little more difficult to write, but I like the challenge.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

b. i.t.c.h. lol

[KAOlmsted]

Be sure to capitalize it next time, and, that's Miss B.I.T.C.H. to you. ;-)

[DIVYA]

I weep too! For my loss! :(

[John Alexander McFadyen]

poor you. I feel feel for you dear Divya

[Junert]

Very advanced for such a short poem.

[Lisa Ring]

Very short, yet poignant. I personally dislike the sound of the word "carnal"...it sounds very sharp and "unsexy" to me.

[F.P. Chat]

i like it
short and intensive

[John Alexander McFadyen]

yes!