Out of Bounds

Out of Bounds

The cordon is set.

Blue and white tape

stretched around

the crime scene.

No one must cross

the barrier

you have pledged to protect.

You have no place here

unless you are the coroner,

the CSI guy

or the corpse.

 

09/09/12

Reviews

[Nicky Sarti]

Oooooo.... Nicky likes this, a LOT.
It is one of the things I have a passion for watching; CSI.
(Yes, sad; but true. I mean, what else am I gonna do while nursing a bad hand?)
I can imagine it happening, especially in certain parts of the town!
It gives me some great images ~ if only I could draw hey?

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hi Nicki,
Hope the hand mends well. Maybe see you at the Meetup?

[Nicky Sarti]

I doubt it as I will be having my other problem done.
I shall send Al to sort matters on my behalf though!

[Mark]

You give us the setting, we provide our own plot. Nicely and simply done :)

[A love for poetry]

Hmm, very interesting. You kind of wound it up, to take back into this really tiny point. Kind of like a short roller coaster ride. Nice.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Yes it was based on the book of the same name by Ian McEwan and as I reflected on my own 'beasts' I also (in poetic mode) raised my own fight so to speak. So I guess I was acting out the poem as I wrote it.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Oops Me not paying attention. This was in respect to the other piece you revied for me!!!!!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

As to the above piece it is a device I use in a number of poems for emphasis and punch at the end. Not always conciously as I do 'act' out many of my 'peoms' others a merely play or ideas. So thanks again Isaac.

[A love for poetry]

^_^

[That_Girl]

Short and to the point. The metaphor is strong. Well done.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Emo!

[Mia]

Who is the coroner, the CSI guy and corpse in this situation. My guess who be that you'd be the corpse if you crossed the tape and her husband got hold of you.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Well spotted Mia! No he is the corpse as they have no spark in their relationship and she is protecting the scene with the corpse within.

[Mia]

No spark? Then what's really left to protect?

[John Alexander McFadyen]

She calls it 'ordinary love' many people aquiesce and that is ok so long as they are happy as too many relationships die these days.

[Mia]

Vomit!!! No I refuse...love should be anything but ordinary! I suppose I’m still young and naive. But if that’s what I have to look forward to...I'll hold onto my youth and naivety!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I wouldn't choose it either but would not judge someone who does. Personally if you are with the right person the spark will not fade it will burn more steadily.

[Mia]

Not so much judgment, more pity than anything. But to each his own, I suppose. I think that the spark can fade even with the right person. The difference between the right and wrong person, in my opinion, is that with the right person you always find ways to ignite the spark.

[Anonymous Girl]

I am a bit confused about what is it about but I like it. Its really good :)
100/100

[John Alexander McFadyen]

It is about someone whom I care about setting down boundaries as they are not interested in a relationship

[Anonymous Girl]

Oh right now I get it. Thanks for telling :)

[SHEEMA HUQ]

i've a taste for more detail, since you started me off, thanks for sharing

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hi Sheema, just someone setting boundaries.

[Bewitching Sensations]

yes i agree chilling undertone

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Chilling just someone I know setting down boundaries. Thanks Ruth. Hope the weather in HK is kinder than it has been here this week!

[Bewitching Sensations]

yes lovely so sunny

[.]

Great job,John. This has a very raw, chilling undertone.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thanks Cord!