He

He

He drew his sword

and beheaded those

for whom he professed his love.

A simple blink of an eye

and he lost composure,

tipped into psychosis,

let his paranoid delusions

lead his tortured hand

until he had throttled

the life from

the innocent victims

of his sharpened lance.

Yet, as they spilt warm blood

he still held

some love in his heart,

For the dead he had created.

 

01/06/13

Reviews

[Caradoc]

This piece reminds me of the stories of Lord Soth from the Dragonlance series.

It is tragic and would make an interesting expanded tale. Perhaps you have already done so? I would be very interested in reading the "whole story" hinted at in this poem.

-Caradoc

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Not expanded as yet but if you wished to work on the theme I would be happy. I am still trying to get the second part of my story Witches Seed into gear. Many thanks for the review.

[Caradoc]

You're welcome.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I like the idea of metaphorical death...this reminds me of someone who sabotages relationships becaues of jealousy, guilt or his own inferiority complex. It's a sad state of being, but it is not one that falls upon deaf ears. I have felt this...my first love was crushed nearly to death by my constant need for reassurance and tearful accusations--I've learned a lot since that time. Well written.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Sarah. I think most of us have regretted our own needs undermining our relationships at times. Learning is good. Many thanks.

[Cool Handless Luke]

A poem with an epic feel to it even though it's not very long. I don't know the whole ordeal behind it but I like it. And the ending - so much to read into the poignancy there of still holding love in his heart for the dead he created. Great work John!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Many thanks Jeff.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

A dreadful tale, so tragic and expressed very expertly, well done.

[Leslie Philibert]

I think John is a good poet. But please let me offer some advice from an old ( and I hope, sometimes) wise man. There is a time to move on...concentrate on the fine poetry you can write, not on conflicts that don`t help you to develop your work..

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I do agree Leslie. Unfortunately my nature has me rail against oppression and deceit. To orchestrate such a hate campaign and change name so often to avoid detection while galvanising his followers to have me censured by the moderator for being open in my approach is simply wrong. He now continues in smug satisfaction after starting a battle simply because of having his advances rejected by Frieda. I ask you. I posted this because I objected to my freedom of speech being stripped out by the moderators.

[Eric Cox]

An excellent write here. Wrong of them to sensor it.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Eric. Not all my poems are 'attacks' on others I assure you!

[Eric Cox]

You're welcome. You're a good writer.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Eric that is most kind.