When I Recall

When I Recall

I fractured in several places

as I fell to my death

and the horses of the apocalypse

trampled my bones to dust

as you stood there,

smiling sweetly

and waving to the crowd.

Blue pain engulfed my spirit,

a creeping paralysis

leaving me emotionally tetraplegic

and vulnerable to the savage dogs

who would have my flesh off these arid bones.

I died not only once as you kept me alive

for your pleasure,

taunting my heart with your fiction and delusions.

I died each moment from the slow poisons

you injected with your tongue.

They flowed though taut veins

to swamp my mind in the cloying,

artery clogging, dripping fats of hatred.

I tried so hard to see,

through smoke blackened eyes,

but no lights shone for me

as the paroxysms

took their steady toll

of my soul.

 

06/07/13

Author's Note

Reviews

[KeelyJane]

Very powerful imagery and the substance of it all is thick and full of emotion. I really liked the opening lines. It set the tone just right for the read. Thanks for sharing. I have yet to find a flaw in your gift.

[Eric Cox]

Such strong, cool imagery of a haunting theme. Nicely done!!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank Eric

[Eric Cox]

You're welcome.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

This is very medically described, and unique in so far as you talk of what must be agonising pain for what is highly engaging for the reader, a combination of thrill and torment, very good work.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you so much Sheema

[spiritwind]

I am back and looking for sweetness and tenderness in a John McFadyen poem and what happens? I walk into a wall of pain... it is of course well-crafted and speaks to all hearts in pain and souls troubled... but forgive me if I search out a more comfortable poem that will not grieve my tattered spirit so...

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you SW. The tenderness and feelings of love were only interrupted by the nastiness that drove A.M.S. (Red) off the site and damaged, Noodlehead, Angel, Jack, Frieda and myself.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Strong emotion and even stronger language choice. This is a perfect example of what I consider to be the perfect way to use language in a poem...you inffuse the piece with just the right amount of words that pack a punch, but not so much that we are bogged down by them. This was raw and strong, and a delight to read.

leaving me emotionally tetraplegic -- This line alone had me smiling.

Well done!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Many thanks GF

[s y e]

Very vivid imagery as always, John - I really enjoyed reading this. This whole poem gushed of sorrow and pain;

"I fractured in several places

as I fell to my death"

~~ These two lines took my breath away, well done as always, John.

~ Noodle

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Many thanks Noodle

[s y e]

My pleasure, sorry I haven't been around lately.

[Sarah Conder]

This is beautifully written yet strikingly powerful.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Sarah

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

The impacted reliance with imagery lends itself to the well thought out wording, well done, good read.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you so much Thomas

[Kristin Lee]

Amazingly vivid imagery. Every words dripped with sorrow and pain. Though it was clear that it was pain you were set apart from while writing it. Well done.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Kirstin.

[Leslie Philibert]

not a very cheerful poem, but strong and well written, like emotionally tetraplegic...

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thanks Leslie. Another simply from memory rather than current status.