For My Love

For My Love

If all the world could emulate her

it would be full of angels

and we would be in heaven.

If the purity of her soul

ran through our veins

then there would be no need for war.

If the love in her heart was the sun

the warmth would radiate

across the universe

and give life to everything it touched.

And I would give all of me

to lay her in my arms

but for the briefest moment

and protect her fragile smile.

And I would offer up myself completely

and for all time,

in the servitude of her pleasure,

her satisfaction, happiness and peace.

 

30/07/14

Reviews

[AprilRN1210]

I think the importance of any piece is the way it makes you FEEL and the message that you walk away with.. style, vocabulary, form, blah blah is irrelevant to me.. What I can say, is that I felt your genuine affection and adoration for this person, and the depth of which these emotions ran...

I mean come on... these lines here..... are sooo unbelievably romantic, and make you all warm and gooey inside...
"And I would give all of me
to lay her in my arms
but for the briefest moment
and protect her fragile smile.
And I would offer up myself completely
and for all time,
in the servitude of her pleasure,
her satisfaction, happiness and peace."... no where in there was there a sun, moon, rainbows, or anything else "clichéd".... I admit, I don't do much "mushy".. but I do enjoy it when a reader allows their sensitive, sincere side out and pours the heart onto the page, allowing the reader to feel what you feel.. that is talent.. and that is what you have done here.. so bravo.... well done.. this one has the annoying hopeless romantic in my head sighing with contentment.... :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

April this is such a lovely review. I was inspired by a very special person who does not believe in herself enough. Many thanks.

[AprilRN1210]

a lot of us are plagued with that demon... it was a sweet, heartfelt write... again, it was my pleasure..

[Botania]

my soul drank it up as one dying of thirst drinks water

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you so much Botania

[Lily Mae]

I disagree. All of us right "same old same old" with different words thrown in occasionally to make it unique to us. But the truth is..reading love, lust and life through another's eyes is refreshing. I write for me and am grateful if it resonates with anyone. But even I bore myself. This has a beauty and flare to it that transcends time..so beautifully done in my opinion..

[John Alexander McFadyen]

WE do and that is a reflection on us as you say Lily. I do try to vary from time to time but we a;l slip right back into our comfort zones. I doubt Cukoo's Nest has read much of my work. Thank you for you kind words.

[The Cuckoo's Nest]

Love stories, whether they be poetry or prose, always seem cliched to me. It's such a common theme that it's hard to stay original. The comparisons to angels and sun, and the imagery of heaven and peace are just too played out in this theme. I try to avoid the subject completely in my writing, unless it's only meant to be read by the person for whom it was written.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Everyone to their own dear poet! And the subject of original thought is a well rehearsed one in philosphy, literature and popular culture. If it is so cliched then pray tell me why no one understands the concept of love? I am sure if I looked at your work I would find someone else already said it in some shape or form. If you can't offer constructive critisim just stay off my page!

[The Cuckoo's Nest]

I think no one understands the concept of love because they keep comparing it to the sun or heaven when it's probably more like a vast blue ocean: dearly serene, smooth, even beautiful at one moment, but then passionately rippled, twisted, and even dangerous the next. I'm sure you'll see a lack of originality in my writing if that's what you want to see. I invite you to take the time to review it before you make that judgment.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I've read both of your posted pieces and they are good. However when someone says to me you are rubbish I am great, which is what your pervious comment reads I have one thought and I will not share it. I write all sorts of stuff some rubbish, some mediocre and some passable.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Oh and I sort of agree with your anology except love takes in both the sea, land and sky.

[The Cuckoo's Nest]

I didn't mean to suggest that your poem was rubbish. It's quite nice and I'm sure to the one for whom you wrote, it is purely lovely. If it brings a bit of joy For Your Love, then that's all that really matters. Maybe I'm just a little jealous, as it expresses a purity in feeling that I haven't felt in a long time and never expect to feel again.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Ok well that is honest and I respect you for it. Hey I have been in your choppy waters for decades and am still fighting against the tide!