A Siren's Promise

A Siren's Promise

You meant the Earth to me.

Your name was sunshine itself,

warming my very heart.

It was the moon and the night sky

where still hung the stars

that I gazed upon,

that gave me such bright and wondrous hope.

And I bathed in it all,

believed the words whispered

from ethereal lips,

drank them so deep

I drowned.

I lost myself in ‘what ifs’ and ‘why nots’

and begged you to leave

that cold castle

in which you hide your soul,

so that no man

may look upon its beauty.

But you simply took up the drawbridge,

entreating me

with siren promises from the keep,

only to pour boiling oil

upon my naked skin,

and send me back

to the loneliness of hell.

 

23/08/14

Author's Note

Reviews

[Ruth]

Such a painful piece John....sometimes there are no answers as to why the other won't leap forward...painful, powerful, as always x

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Poppy for such a lovely and caring review.

[Sophy Freebirds]

You loved to be clawed John.. but the irony of boiling oil.. o my gosh!! The siren really took you to the deep pits of hell i guess,which has resulted in such a dark poem.. I am back after two days. But i get to read dark stuff out here. :) like me!! Hah.. great job John.

~Sophy

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Sophy. It is worse than unrequited love to have someone dangle the sweet prospect before you and then never take the next step.

[Sophy Freebirds]

Yea John.. i know. Gone through it.was a pleasure

[Lyn Anderson]

The pain of love the speaker wants and can't have.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Again you get it completely 'M'.

[Frieda P]

Holy hell's pain, felt it here, 'boiling oil on naked skin', that one smarts, as does a love that has dissipated before our eyes...

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Yes my Lady, yes. Many thanks.

[R Smith]

That's great John, you are the King of passion and surprise I never expected the finale, when we entered the castle up to the boiling oil I was in poetry heaven.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

The reality of falling Richard and keeping falling. many thanks.

[AprilRN1210]

very moving.. you have a way with your writing that reaches out and speaks to the heart of the reader in different ways with each one.. this one tugs on the heartstrings and you feel the frustration, the pain, and the longing.. powerful, and hits hard.. well done..

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you April and simply writing down how I feel being a more emotional writer rather than a technical one.

[AprilRN1210]

as you know I do the same, which is why your words always touch me so deep:)

[DIVYA]

Ahh...the torture and agony of true love jilted. I would prefer the boiling oil on my skin. The pain can get so bad sometimes. I know these feelings only too well and now that you have expressed them so profoundly, they are envisioned even more clearly.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you sweet Ms Nelson.

[DIVYA]

You are welcome John :)

[Dee]

Emotional, with great use of metaphor and clear imagery...so sad when love doesn't work out..
I hope thlis is just from your poet mind and not from true John.. touched this reader deep.

Best wishes to you...Dee

[John Alexander McFadyen]

No tis sad to say true Dee. Many thank yous!