What Defines Me Now

Searching for meaning can be hard!

What Defines Me Now

I find myself in glorious

isolation. A tranquil yet

deeply sad place in time

and space, spinning on an axis

between the cold, old, worn moon

of life’s stresses and the warm sun

of contentment.

I have done my bit and more;

son and brother, father and lover, employee and friend.

The pillars of all our troubles

and yet upon which all of

our hopes are perched as we

juggle the meaning, meaninglessness and the

meanness of life.

Now three pillars have tumbled,

stone by broken stone

to earth.

No more the son,

no more the lover

no more the employee.

And so I ask

what defines me now?

Brother, father, friend,

three bedrocks upon which

this weary man now rests,

as he surveys so many scaly scars.

Will they sustain me thus?

Expand to fill the void

of a once sought horizon?

So much change,

so much uncertainty,

yet I still do not wither

on this vine.

I watch and wait

a silent tear to shed

as I take it all in.

And so I explore my new surroundings

looking for new skills,

while I keep watch for

a fresh path that

I may follow.

Then my journey will

begin again.

 

09/09/14

Author's Note

Reviews

[Lyn Anderson]

Find that open door in the ones that have been closed. A man is not defined by what he has been, but what he makes of himself as he moves forward. A wonderful write.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thanks 'M'. Indeed, so I am now learning new skills and mixing in new company.

[Lyn Anderson]

Just don't forget all of us, doc. We love you.:)

[Angad Waraich]

A very skill-fully done piece.
It is amazing how you explained the various roles played by a man in a life time.
It caught my imagination.
Thank you for sharing such wonderful poetry.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Angad.

[Angad Waraich]

You're welcome.

[DIVYA]

This poem is so profoundly deep. As life goes, we take up new roles and leave old ones behind. We miss some of the role we no more play but it is to be remembered that in life there is no beginning and no end and these roles are being repeated over an infinite stretch of time. If spiritually close to God then a man would be happy even without any role to play or just one role, that of himself.

Thank you for sharing your amazing thoughts.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hi Divya, Have missed you. I am trying to spend less time on here since I ran into trouble with my pervious employer for posting. Hope you are well. Many thanks for the review!

[Kelly Scheppers]

I had a long talk with my son the other night, projecting his life without me...letting him know how proud I am of him, and feeling that my work with him has been well rewarded. Then, I wonder what's to become of me, with this "empty nest' feeling that is settling in, like an unwelcomed visitor.

"I watch and wait
a silent tear to shed
as I take it all in.

I suppose there's nothing more left to us, than to "take it all in"...little by little, day by day. Perhaps, that will be our saving grace.

Another wonder to behold, John!

My best,
Kelly

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Kelly for such an empathetic review.

[Lydia Shutter]

I can identify with the introspection here, John. When both my parents and all my aunts, uncles, and cousins were gone, I wondered who I was. Was there another road I was supposed to follow? We all play many roles in life and I firmly believe there are roles we have not yet pursued. Finding them is not always easy, but they do show themselves eventually. There is hope in between the lines in this well written poem. I enjoyed it. Lydi**

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Lydi.