Night Watch

Love

Night Watch

When she sleeps

she is even softer

than when awake.

I watch her

and my heart

sinks with her

into the pillow,

following her

into her dreams

where I hope

she sees me

and reaches out

for my touch.

When she sleeps

her raven black hair

cascades in a silky

sensual frame

around the beauty

of her face.

And I lie there staring,

imbibing the delight,

close enough to breathe

every exhale and taste

its sweetness.

When she sleeps

her closed eyes

still have their sparkle,

I still see their perfectly

formed deep brown

chocolate warmth,

and her lips

are as succulent

and tempting

as ever.

When she sleeps

I wrap around her

making my body

her moulded

protector

as I cup

her perfect breasts

in grateful hands.

 

12/04/15

Reviews

[sereenaoutloud]

OH wow this is just so stunning John, so light and beautiful it needed to be whispered! :)
To be adored that much ..so romantic !!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Sereena. I adored her but she led me along for two years and eighteen months ago ended it.

[sereenaoutloud]

oh no i am so sorry to hear that John :(

[John Alexander McFadyen]

My fault. She was married but assured me it was over. I spent time with her daughter and went with her to Norway twice and stayed at her mother's. Once with her daughter of 13. As it turns out she was using me to have an affair.

[sereenaoutloud]

Oh that is Awful and obviously not all your fault. She knew what she was doing and should not have been doing that ! Love we always make it so complicated !!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

The lesson: trust no one!

[sereenaoutloud]

Or at least the married but its over no ones! :)

[MsJewel]

There is a softness to your words that I find so appealing. I love romantic poetry and this is stunning.

:) Julie

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you for your kindness Julie.

[andrew mitchell]

Hi john lovely soft poem but I was getting worried you were going to lift up a pillow and smother her in the end as she turned into a troll but thankfully you didn't add this twist! lol

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Ha you tease. This is about the love of my life. Thanks Andrew.

[andrew mitchell]

I know I tease John" I was pulling your chain" I gathered as much she was your angel from Heaven's express post!

[613]

This was very beautiful! My only criticism - switch out the word "mop" for something else. It kind of killed the tone of the poem for me when that word popped up. But other than that, awesome job!

- Brittney

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I have taken your advice on that one Brittney as I did feel it a little clumsy. Many thank yous!

[613]

You're welcome!

[Adam Adams]

Perfect love. So melt-down. soft. Gentle. steamy & so breathless. Enjoyed reading it.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Adams.

[Matching Socks]

That's a very lovely poem. :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Ana, glad you found it enjoyable.

[Kelly Scheppers]

You melt me down like butter...how gorgeous!!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you so much Kelly. It is a lovely feeling to watch someone you love happily sleeping.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

...has again the feeling of "Two Tails"...with the way you give this to us as the reader(s)...the lines go from start to finish with the romance much detailed in the heart of it all in the lines...that needs no introduction...the part here is were I would --- make a mere change...suggest...a touch-up:

I wrap around her
making my body
her moulded
protector
as I cup
her perfect breasts
in grateful hands.

---

I wrap around her
making my body
her shell
protector
as I cup
her perfect breasts
in grateful hands.

---

not that "moulded" doesn't do...just "shell" gives that added meaning after "protector"...while "moulded" sounds too soft and vulnerable...again this is just IMPO...

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I see where you are coming from my eagle eyed friend but shell makes it hard and brittle wheras molded is softer.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

...which will it be...."moulded" or "molded"...Its all just a preference in the end...just looking into the verse more than usual...I was think more in lines of her fitting into a new one like a hermit crab does...when the comfort zone is no longer...good day...

[John Alexander McFadyen]

In UK English it is moulded.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

I forgot to add LOL>...I realized that...as you used the earlier in a comment...with "realised"...its all good...that you're from the UK...

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Tis true my friend and I still value your scrutiny.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Love, devotion and desire eloquently expressed.
A gorgeous piece of work!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Frankie.