Our Battle

Good and evil! [Experimenting with rhyming patterns] Again I am indebted to Richard for his observations and suggestions.

Our Battle

 

Oh brutal Prince of Darkness you have slayed

so many sinful souls from this earths plain.

Poor pilgrims who upon your path have strayed,

to never see those heavenly gates again.

 

And still you prowl the planet unopposed

the whys and wherefores our Lord only knows.

And of your terror feats we must beware

and take up arms and fight; we must prepare.

 

For strength in battle we must find alone,

God will not send his angels to defend,

thus on his mercy we cannot depend,

it's us and us alone who must atone.

 

And when the war is over we will find

that the strength we need lies within our kind,

and this we simply need to understand,

that man must live and die by his own hand.

 

14/07/15

Author's Note

Reviews

[Richard🖌]

Well, John, insight is certainly not a virtue you lack; nor, is flexibility in composing poetry in any form.
This is a most amazing piece, dwelling on the opposing sides of life's moral issues, and your word, choices are amazingly highlighted by the flow from a splendidly-penned iambic beat … this is the poetic beauty and power derived from this magical tempo — for those who can master it. Sometimes, I am inclined to believe I actually think in iambics … LOL! Which, I might add, is definitely handy when writing any poetical line, rhyming, metered, or otherwise, because one's work is always in a smooth flow when composing in iambics.

Iambic, etc; issue suggestions:
V1Li: Prince of Darkness
V1L4: to never see those heavenly gates again.
V4L2: "does" lie is improper grammar

A powerful topic, and word-choices, as-well!

Really-really good stuff, John — I am genuinely enjoying your excellent efforts, My Friend, and I love helping my fellow-poets in any way I can … thank you for that privilege, and thank you for sharing!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Once more I must thank you for such kindness and for sharing your enthusiasm and expertise to guide me Richard. I value it greatly.

[Richard🖌]

As I value our shared enjoyment of poetry, John! : )

[Richard🖌]

Oops!
Seems I missed catching V4L2: the strength we need that lies within our kind,

[~]

Like James Joyce said:
"There were others who had forced their way to the top from the lowest rung by the aid of their bootstraps." in his Ulysses.
I liked the rhyming of the verses. It gave a regular pattern that matches the war like nature of the poem. :D

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you for the feedback dear MS.

[....................]

a great acknowledgement of faith...we live and die by our own hands; it's in us to do or not... yet, many of us still try to place blame elsewhere, when it is up to us to give in to temptation or to fight it... well-written, John, though I have come to expect nothing less from your pen!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Many thank yous FT

[Gee]

Welcome to the dark side,the world of rhyme!!!!!Read your comment to Jacob and you as he could write anything easily with the talent you possess.It is us simple folk that struggle.Like the poem and rhyme John

[John Alexander McFadyen]

That is much too kind Gee. I do thank you though for such supportive words. Jacob is a master of the art of poetry and words. His knowledge of English language is breath taking, whereas I am merely a struggling amature who enjoys the expression of passion.

[Gee]

You struggle very well!!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i wish more could live and less would die by our own hand...

really like the philosophy of this...and they rhyme scheme works well to support the theme.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you very much Jacob, I needed to try other than unrhymed free verse for a while except my technical knowledge of forms is somewhat lacking, and can't rhyme for toffee lol!