Lost

When life simply frustrates.

Lost

You are the flame,

I am the moth,

as your light       

pulls me

into you.

You are my

magnetic parallel

but I am drawn to you,

not repelled.

I descend,

dragged into your gravity,

I have no choice

but to fall to earth.

But there

you trample the soil

as if I am a weed

to be crushed

beneath your healing.

And yet I yearn,

I long for the heat

of your soft, warm breasts.

 

14/06/17

Reviews

[AprilRN1210]

without pain how would we know pleasure.. without need how would we learn to appreciate and savor...how would you know it is cold, without having felt the warmth from the heat...both sides of the magnet play their part and both sides enjoy it and hate it.. funny how that works. think we are all somewhat lost in this conundrum.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I get your point April and agree. Many thanks.

[DIVYA]

Its a sad ending for the moth. Yet what makes it sadder is that the flame goes on burning, uncaring, unfeeling. Beautifully conveyed John..

[John Alexander McFadyen]

indeed it does. Many thanks Divya.

[Teddybearlee]

Life does frustrate, and torture. This was very beautiful and eloquent, the ending caught me in the throat, that's for sure. Love it.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thanks TBL

[William Richards]

I liked the different ways attraction was expressed--moth to flame, falling in gravity, and even laws of physics on its head with parallel magnets attracting. But alas, unrequited love.

[Bear]

Critique: (beneath your heal.) heel - The word "heal" doesn’t fit this context.

Review: Always fun to read how others interpret the many facets of the most complicated thing in life, human relationships. I personally am not a fan of the sentence structure where you break a sentence into multiple short lines. That said, I enjoyed reading it, I to have felt like my feelings were trampled on as if I were a weed. Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Heal used to signify previous unsuccessful attempts at a relationship. many thanks.

[Bear]

Oh sorry I took it to mean under foot

[John Alexander McFadyen]

On reflection I think I am in danger of trying to be too clever then lol!

[Bear]

Healing works and now I interrupt it as you intended, nicely done :~)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Bear. Tis good to be made to give a second thought.

[Lydia Shutter]

Romantic and loving! Wonderful metaphors in this one, John. Lydi**

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Lydi

[Fanicia E.]

This is an amazing poem and I could not imagine a better metaphor to use than the moth and the flame. I really enjoyed reading it, I definitely could relate, and it's going into my favorites!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Francia.

[Fanicia E.]

Fanicia. You're welcome!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Oops, sorry my eyes told me one thing.................

[Fanicia E.]

It's fine lol

[jacob erin-cilberto]

we are often just like the moths...drawn to the light...compelled...no resistance, just natural instinct.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Victim of love Jacob. Many thanks.