The Day That Eden Fell

A true tale.

I tried to profess feelings.

True feelings

lavished upon

one so delicate.

But there you stood

enigmatically,

in the midst

of Eden,

stoically aloof,

unassailable.

Hurt had stranded you

and so I told

of my discontent,

and we fell out.

And now a dark scar

dominates my soul

where we were torn

and parted ways

as you cast me aside.

So all the love

I had for you

was trapped,

my blood congealing

in a heart without

a beat

and, without

the oxygen of you,

it turned black.

Each day is regret,

each moment

a sad one,

as I miss

your cultivating hands,

miss your delicate beauty

and the seeds of

the elegant and eloquent

words you plant.

And I still wish

upon a wish,

never to be fulfilled,

for what we could

have been.

 

04/04/19

Author's Note

Reviews

[gram linski]

Great writing, eloquent as ever, we have all lost an Eve or an Angel and dream of what might have been, a dark star dominates my soul, is a line I understand, the pain of loss never leaves, does not dissipate, dissolve, and yet here we are, stronger now, because

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thanks gram. I guess it feeds the writing frenzy now and again as I am sure you know.

[wordman]

loses are always sad times that turn into memories,maybe they will be kind

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Indeed but a fantasy dear Ron but it makes a quill shiver slightly!

[wordman]

yeap,youre right

[kentuck14]

John,
Somehow we want to get back to Eden . . . we think maybe a person who loves us will get us there. Maybe if we love them enough, we can stay. But Eden is just a memory . . . perfection a distant dream, a long time to be alone with ourselves. All its rooms are empty . . . just "a dark scar dominating [the] soul."
Interesting write. Leaves much to ponder. Thanks.
Tom

[John Alexander McFadyen]

And I fully agree Tom. Eden as a metaphor very much exists in the gender race and in this instance it refers to a skilled gardener. Many thank yous for such a considered rewview.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"without the oxygen of you"
love that line...
i think sometimes we expect eden in a relationship...and that is pretty misguided...eden/utopia...not so real....imperfection, flaws, work, rough times....if we can get through those...then there is love.
j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Yes Jacob I totally agree with you. I use Eden as a metaphor for true love and to describe a gardener in this piece.

[An owl on the moon]

Just the title was agony for me. One can feel the suffering shadows of the fading light in every line. What could have been... those words haunt so many in this world.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Indeed so but often overlooked in this day and age of 'Me Too' Many thanks.

[Chris Shaw]

I very much like your choice of music. Greensleeves of course from byegone days of knights and their ladies and maybe even earlier. Your poem, one of regret for what might have been. Two people tossed asunder on a really stormy sea. It happens, all the time and often scars are left which may or may not heal.

Chris

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Chris.