Gutted And True

Attraction is a strange emotion.

Am I still drunk,

still hung over

from a bellyful

of unrequited love?

Her pen moves with ease,

looks like a feather quill

but tis a rapier for sure,

for even as she paints

calm and tender scenes

in an eloquent whispered

voice,

its silent,

unspoken thrusts

cut me to the quick.

And I am run through,

punctured and speared,

left bereft of song

and expertly

disembowelled.

 

15/04/19

Author's Note

Reviews

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Her pen moves with ease
Looks like a feather quill

My fav lines

Loved this thanks so much for this write and share

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Glad you liked it Julie, many thanks.

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

no worries

[Amber]

Great job painting the scene with your imagery.
I liked the juxtaposition between her lighthanded feather artistry and your disembowelment. Cool stuff!
I can't say I fully know the feeling of unrequited love, but I can get the gist of it from your poem because it's quite full of emotional contempt. I listen to a lot of music as I write as well, so it's nice of you to leave the music you were listening to or inspired by when writing.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Amber. Glad you liked the music as well.

[gram linski]

Loved this nothing beats the silent assassin, the word is a weapon, to be yielded, with a a barbed wire tongue, the only thing worse is the blank staring look, enjoy your compulsory Hari Kari while you can,

[John Alexander McFadyen]

The pain is the only think letting me know my 10% is still working lol. Cheers gram!

[gram linski]

I think it averages out about 10% you are possibly on the lower scale, didn't take you for a NIN fan,

[Coyote Poetry]

Love be sweet, love be damned. John, your words honest and true.
"left bereft of song
and expertly
disembowelled."
I know the feeling in the above words. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Many thank yous Coyote John

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome John.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

maybe we are all Hamlets when it comes to love...
fate has it in for us...and we will end up "cut to the quick"---

"Bye Bye love, Bye Bye happiness, hello loneliness, i think i'm a gonna cry"---Everly Brothers...

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Excellent song choice Jacob. Aye perhaps we are emotional types who find romance irrtisistable. Many thanks.

[Richard🖌]

Goodness, John!
I cannot imagine a more candid confession of sheer angst derived from the effects of unrequited love than you've created here.
As usual, your keen command of metaphor and grammar have set the perfect moment to pull us in for the full effect.
Metaphor, imagery, and line-breaks are spot-on, and save for a number of missing commas, a misplaced "?" in L1, an unnecessary hyphen in L2 and "and" in the penultimate line, this would be a wee Free Verse masterpiece. Displaying in verses would open it up and allay the cramped, run-on feel, as-well.

Whatever, you know I've always favored and enjoyed your writings tremendously, as I have this one.
Bless you a wondrous day, My Finely Gifted Friend! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Richard. I will look at those points directly.

[Richard🖌]

John,
If you'd like specifics on my take, I'll message them for you.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I think I have put some of them right Richard, thank you.

[Richard🖌]

I, too, get into "the" moment composing a deep piece such as this one, give it a quick look-see and post it, only to have a keen eye later point out what I could not discern.
Good corrections, John … I've been missing out on your excellent penmanship for too long. : )

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I have been keeping a low profile and rarely take on 'friends' to limit the chances of my troll offering me a Trojan horse or feeling me worth pursuing.

[Richard🖌]

Smile!
I've had other block me, considering me as bad as a troll, but you and I have always gotten-on well, and I now get it why I had to befriend you again.
I know the site made some (so-called) improvements that removed several from my friends list that were miffed at me for unfriending them, even though i hadn't, but it's all sorted now.
Thanks for letting me back in. : )