Off The Rails

When love goes off track it is hard to bring it back.

Mind the gap,

close it

if you can,

if you dare.

Step over it,

don't step

onto the live rail

for the surge

of power

rushing through

you

will burst

your heart,

for sure.

Through the space

between us,

deep below the ground

in that dark,

dank tunnel,

a howling wind

forces icy, foetid

breaths.

And suffocation

comes from the

intoxicating

fumes

that are your

black bile

lies.

Here

we end

the pulsing,

throbbing

ache

as arteries

harden against

passing time.

Here we

remain,

stuck

in the limbo

of a half-life

world.

And here

we shall

perish

and die.

 

23/04/19

Author's Note

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

Bleak lines about a love gone wrong. It can take you to the heights and then bury you as well as driving you crazy. Enjoyed your choice of music with the fabulous Katie. Love the metaphor here John.

Chris

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you so much Chris and glad you enjoyed Katie.

[Chris Shaw]

Always enjoy Katie. A favourite female songstress.

[Chris Shaw]

Oh and good morning John.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Good morning Chris. Tis a quiet and brightish one here an hour and a half into my day.

[Chris Shaw]

Hope it continues to be bright. Dull where I am in dreary Berkshire. Overcast and grey.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Here in midlle earth we have special weather guided by the bringer of light lol!

[Chris Shaw]

You are truly blessed :))

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Indeed but I am told it will be a dank dark bank holiday weekend :(

[Chris Shaw]

Not so good then :(

[John the Baptist]

Loved the spare, tight, relentless wording of this one. This is the way love talks when it goes bad, as it often does. The speaker is clearly warning that renewal will be fraught with danger, if possible at all, due to the other's lies. The last lines are as dark and bleak as anything Poe ever wrote. Glad you didn't draw a smiley face at the end. Well done.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you very much JTB, humbled by your fulsome review.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

being from NY....rode the subway often...this is like a parallel to that...riding the subway of love, but at the stop, getting off and trying to walk on the rails and just getting totally electrocuted...zapped to the core.
really well done metaphor here.
j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Jacob. That means so much coming from one of the most respected of 'metaphorists'.