Saline

Salty times

I dipped

beneath the ocean

waves

seeking fish,

for a good meal

they said

would heal

this desperate

hunger,

this fissure,

this crack

in my armour.

But under

that sea

was only brine

and so I starved

from the vomit

that convulsed

my gut.

 

25/04/19

Author's Note

Reviews

[Cherrie]

I get the opening, when I first quit the police department I had an internal alarm always sounding: Emergency, Danger, Faster, Keener. It took me a good 5 years to settle down and slow my stride and tell my self not everything is an emergency.
But I have friends who tried to gear down, and they found said crack, and can not make peace with images that will not lay down.
Excellent poem

[Robert Trakofler]

you never cease to amaze dear cherrie. I remember how hard it was for me to adjust to civil-ianing :)

[Cherrie]

A whole new ballgame.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

You were a police officer? I guess the adrenaline is hard to quell after living on it for years. Many thanks for reading Cherrie.

[Cherrie]

I worked tactical dispatch, for a metro area. My husband worked as a homicide detective for many years and midnight patrol for the County

[Cherrie]

Feels like yesterday but it's been over 20 years.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Yes time has passed. Seems only a day since i was taking my youngest kids to school. Now they are grown and off in the world,

[Chris Shaw]

Searching to fill that hunger only to find something even worse. Salt they say is healing, but drink too much and you will know it. That's where you took me John with your lines.

Chris

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I guess relationship seeking is no science and rasndom at best which leads to bitter disappointment if one is too open minded. Many thanks Chris.

[Chris Shaw]

Yes, it is random so there will be a few misses before a hit turns up.

[Markus Anthony]

Your work can actually symbolise certain life circumstances. I interpreted "vomit" as losing your self in the brink of loving and seeking for happiness. Thanks for sharing!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Markus, I like your interpretation of 'vomit.

[Shazbatt969]

The salty aftertaste of Life gone wrong, pessimistic and bleak, like all good poetry should be, great use of language, quality not quantity,

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you so much Shaz!

[Robert Trakofler]

Ha... at least the brine may preserve you and your shallow starved husk:) A stark and brutal write of wrongs good sir and a feeling most understood in its empty fishing lines. It is at these sympathetic times that afterwards I realize i was looking for the wrong sustenance. Great write... I need a ginger ale now:)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I guess you have a point there BB brine as a preservative rather than an emetic! Many thank yous.

[Leviari]

Beautiful poem. I love the contrast between the nice imaginary of the first verses and the raw last description, all build in a flowing crescendo.

I relate to this poem so much and I enjoyed the way you depicted hunger.

You delivered yet again good, honest, visceral writing (pun intended).

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you so much Leviari.

[kentuck14]

I believe the revealing phrase in this poem is the "crack in the armour." We go in search of solace in places not meant for the human soul. We look to stave our hungers without considering the effects they may have on us. Nice write, John.
T

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Indeed I think you are correct Tom. Many thank yous!

[Eilis]

I suppose there are many things that can lead to these kinds of achings. Again, I like the openness of this poem. The imagery lends weight and immediacy, but doesn’t seek to pin things down.

We all found ourselves at sea from time to time. Seeking or hiding. So often coming ashore empty or full of things we never intended to absorb. I love the way your poem speaks to that universality.

I enjoyed this very much.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Eilis, I often take a concrete subject and try to inject emotion into it. This one is quite allegorical. Your reviews are like your poetry, full of considered well rounded, well expressed thoughts.

[John the Baptist]

I think the sea and fish are symbolic. It sounds as though the poet is saying he descended into his own consciousness seeking relief from outer pain. Unfortunately he encountered only his own bitterness, which sickened him all the more. Just a guess.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Agreed there is much symbolism in the seas and man's wonder and fear of their powers. Indeed this represents that inner turmoil. Many thanks for a considered review JTB.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

but the crack grew wider, and the vomit just wouldn't stay down, would it.
I have felt this...and also felt when i wrote i was just vomiting emotions.
j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Jacob. So sorry you have felt this. I guess many people write to spill thier emotions which is positive, or more positive than other routes.