Adrift

Often life circumstances leaves people feeling cut off entirely.

I am so

far from myself,

so cut off

from my soul,

from the mother craft

I need a pressure suit

to survive.

 

I cannot breathe the air

that surrounds my corpse

for it has no oxygen.

 

I float,

drifting in the space

created by dreams

and expectations,

and a balloon

that burst long ago,

releasing putrid gasses,

and casting me

into the black solar depths

of despair.

 

The atmospheric pressure,

the very gravity of it,

presses into my lungs

crushing all hope.

 

Thus I wander in a dense,

primordial fugue,

my memories of life

now extinct.

 

And I am lost

deep in this abyss,

and cannot find my way

back to earth.

 

25/10/19.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Robert Trakofler]

This is so palpable a conveyance of despair I felt myself having a hard time breathing in empathy with you as I read this:( I was recently in one of those down modes it is a constant struggle to fight the wretched and sometimes it gets the upper hand! on my way back to the store yesterday from visiting the produce yards to replenish the stores in the distance I glanced a tree covered with crows... knowing full well that I should be scurrying back to the store I had to go investigate I was soon completely surrounded by them and I couldn't resist but to grab a bunch of buns and chuck them into the street I was soon surrounded by them not more than 4 feet from me and my heart just soared with them as they eventually moved back toward there migration. and the presents of presence was restored to my mind its funny how if you keep your eyes open how much wonder is right in front of us

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hi Robert, sorry for the delay, been in Spain for a month. I agree we often miss the things in front of us and often hope is that close. Many thanks.

[barleygirl]

This is vivid & a little putrid & it reminds me of a time in my life when I first realized that being "tight" with my broken family just perpetuated my own brokenness. Some people want to wallow in their brokenness & I had to get away from that mindset to heal from my tragic childhood of abuse. Since my family had been my everything (abusive families are often insular due to enforced secrecy), when I broke away from my family, it felt just like this, in your poem. I had no identity anymore. It took several years to find my real identity, which wasn't the one attached to the family junk! There are many times in life when a person has to break away from some oppressive existence & your poem describes how it feels before we find the next ledge to balance on (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[andrew mitchell]

A sad write on feeling blue that hopelessness that comes with depression and isolation.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Andrew