Journey Through Depression #2: Anger

Creeping up into what became more difficult--what left me nearly crying the the computer lab as I wrote. This was very fresh when I wrote about it, only two months after I started therapy and meds.

Soothing... Music is supposed to be soothing.

But it doesn't work like that, at least not for me, ...at least not tonight. 

Papa Roach blares in the background,

but not even the blast of the bass subdues the beast within.

 

Fists clenched,

I search for an escape.

The metallic edge catches the dirty lamp’s light.

I sigh, relieved.

Tonight, I give in.

Tonight, the beast drinks.

 

Sliced flesh;

tension dissipates.

Sparkling crimson pours from fresh wounds.

The dulled world clears and brightens.

For now,

I feel no regret.

My self-esteem rises, even if only for a moment.

The pudge coating my bones doesn’t seem so bulky.

 

I smile; my self-loathing slithering down the drain.

My dark angel smiles back as she leaves.

"I'll be back tomorrow.", she says

Tonight, I sleep well.

Tonight, my dreams are pleasant.

Author's Note

As always, reviews are always appreciated! Thanks in advance!

Reviews

[Chip Murison]

Self hatred is a b***h.
I love your gritty honesty in this poem. The poem itself is like a cutting, giving release through the writing. Emotional blood.
I think you capture a very difficult and conflicted feeling.

I think there is a typo in
"My dark angel smiles back as (s)he leaves."

[Jamie]

Thank you. That was my intention with this one. I'm glad I did so.

...Oops. Thank you. Missed that. I'm awful at proof-reading my own work. .__.