Had I Never Met You

This might be the most positive thing I have ever written, and it's not even super positive.

Had I never met you, I'd not know this fullness in my heart.
…Though this fullness, is it really a bad thing?
Yes, my chest weighs a thousand pounds,
and yes, my heart beats faster than I though it ever could…,
but the sound of your voice filling my ears each night,
muddled by thousands of miles and several time zones,
by mediocre recording equipment and spotty internet connections,
begrudgingly draws a goofy grin across... what I once thought was a stone face.

You are the biggest smart a*s I have ever met.
And goddamn, do I love you for it.
That mouth on you must be hereditary, running strong in your family.
The Dutch are the saltiest of them all…,
or so you've told me.
Your wit is one of your most prominent features.
That blade of a tongue of you've got could make the British guard laugh.
We'll return you to the "motherland" one day.
...F*****g anglophile.

Your maturity and intelligence do not match your life experience.
Despite your sense of humo[u]r,
I often forget your age.
You are a man before your time.
Selfless, kind... incredibly stubborn to the point of stupidity�"
choosing, prioritizing even (words directly from your goddamn mouth), a crazy, unstable, passively-suicidal f**k like me.
"I care about you." You said, on more than one occasion.
Why?
You didn't explain,
at least not in a manner in which my emotionally-stunted mind could comprehend.

I've reciprocated.
'I care about you, too...'
Not verbally, of course.
I'm incapable of that�"the emotional failure and all;
You are aware that I do, however.
Just to what extent..., I'm unsure.

You are an exception, a rarity.
You typically "aren't my type",
but for some reason,
you are.

Reviews

[Stan Lee]

I know this exact feeling and I love this poem!!! I can totally relate to that feeling of happy confusion (I'm glad you care about me but why?) & adoring exasperation. I understand the biggest smartass being not your type.. and yet! I can relate to the "muddled by thousands of miles and several time zones, by mediocre recording equipment and spotty internet connections" part too. Dratted internet, it's as though it knows how much we rely on it, so get gets all attitudy and messes up just when we're kissing goodnight. I just love this poem, I really do. I'm adding it to my favo(u)rites right now because I'm jealous that I didn't write it myself! Stay inspired! Keep smiling! :)

[Jamie]

Thank you so much for the review! I always appreciate your reviews; they're insightful and in-depth, and I always enjoy seeing your interpretations of what you see in my writing. It's always interesting to see what others see in what you've written.

...That's a huge compliment that a. you've favorited it (bahaha, same joke; love it xD), and b. that you'd have liked to have written it yourself. xDD

Actually though, I'm a massive smartass. By "not my type", I mean that this person is male. I identify as a lesbian. I haven't ever been attracted to a dude like this. This guy is an odd exception. I'm American. This guy is Dutch. He loves the UK, hence the spelling references and things.

Once again, thank you so much for the compliments and reviews! I always appreciate them!