William Shatner... Get Outta My Head!

I hear William Shatner talking to me inside my head and he is telling me a story .. a silly one at that~

 

 

 

Star Date September 30, 3002

Captain's Log:

We encountered a huge asteroid today. It was so huge it was not measurable. Scotty said to go around it, but we couldn't! We pushed it as fast as we could! The asteroid stayed its course. Finally, we threw large amounts of salt on it and it melted.We discovered it was no asteroid at all , it was a mutant snail! We then were able to be on our way to rendevouz with the Vulcans. They have been up in arms as of late. The Federation has voted not to add cosmetic surgery to our HMO's and they were all clamering for new noses. We finally calmed them down with gift certificates to Mc Donald's. I sure miss my wife, that one Vulcan chick looked pretty hot... Wait! I have no wife! Do'h, another opportunity for romance foiled! (again)
 

We have a stop on Planet Earth scheduled for tomorrow. Perhaps there I could find romance. I fell in love there with a lovley blonde blue eyed beauty. At a convention one night I pulled her into a vacant bathroom and kissed her passionately.I was unpleasantly shocked when my love walked in on me and the blonde blue eyed hottie I was kissing. She would not beleive me. I tried to explain that I was confused , they all look alike, the women, all look the same, as they have added Cosmetic Surgery to their HMO's. It is hard to tell one from the other, she did not beleive me, she left me. I am now alone in outer space. I wonder if the Venetians have added cosmetic surgery to their HMO's? Perhaps, if I am lucky, and I am lucky, I shall find my true love there.... They all look alike on earth now

Author's Note

silly .. oh, he said, 'Don't use pink text again.. final warning'...
oh and this is a restoration ...

Reviews

[Blackbirdsong]

LMAO Chloe!!!! Did you fall asleep with the TV on or something? This was interesting to say the least and yes you have a typo with "believe," but so what. Pink type at this hour of the morning. Lord only knows what I'll be dreaming tonight after this. But if William Shatner is in my dreams, its all your fault.

LOL

An interesting trip through your imagination my dear. :)

[Judy Ponceby]

Awesome fun! :) LOL

[.]

LMAO...I grew up on star trek and really fancied captain kirk..LOL

You made my day reading this!!! You do have strange dreams though ;)

[Quinn Blackburn]

LOL This was pure fun, and extremely entertaining. You've nailed Kirk's character in two paragraphs...no pun intended :o) thanks for sharing the laughter!

[alesuriko]

Oh my dear! This is hilarious! I love William Shatner and Captain James T. Kirk -- "I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome he is." haha... really funny piece, especially with the snail and the "foiled again!" Brilliance.

I did catch a few mistakes though. In the first paragraph, you're missing a space after the period in "and it melted.We discovered it was no" and in the cosmetic surgery sentence it's spelled "clamoring." In the second paragraph, you spelled "lovely" wrong and you're missing a space after the period in "kissed her passionately." You also spelled "believe" wrong twice and you have an extra space after "explain that I was confused".

Overall this is a wonderful satire on humans and the nonsense of cosmetic surgery, people turning themselves into the exact same person without any differences. Great job on this one. And I really want to hit that Ben person over the head for his review... and also point out to him that he spelled "existence" wrong and should receive the punishment of having the broom handle that's lodged up his a*s removed and have a sense of humor installed in it's place... hehe. Wonderful write hun! I was laughing the entire time.

[Tomás Ó C..]

:-) Such inter planetary racism... they all look the same. Love the concept...

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Next trip to earth beware the Clingons around Uranus. lol This was funny.

[Gary H]

this is the second story I have read with William Shatner the star. Is he the ultimate WC Star Trek Captain? Something for the many to discuss. Not too sure what the benefit of all woman looking the same would be. Personally I rather like their minds - hope that doesn't sound too creepy or someone might set a phaser on me.
I note that depsite mentioning Captains Log you showed nice grace not to include Klingons......

[Lionel Braud]

this Shatner rant really makes sense knowing what William is really like, sounds like his character, but this is good stream of consciousness writing.

[James Takeo Panton]

I enjoyed reading this piece......definitely a read for star trek fans.....such an interesting satire.....good stuff!

[Ben]

This is the kind of thing kids write at school when they're 7.
As a piece of literature it has not value what so ever. To write drivel like this you would have to be leading a meaningless existance and you're mind would have to be rotting.