The Split

So, can you afford this place by yourself?
Yeah, I did the maths.                     
Okay, I’ll take the washing machine, you take the couches.   
You kidding, the washing machine was a present, you take the couches.
I know how to work the washing machine.
Well, I know how to work the coffee machine, but I don’t make a song and dance about it.
Was that why you phoned the plumber when it ran out of water.
I didn’t phone him for that, I was getting a quote for something plummery I was thinking of doing.
Plummery, is that computer speak. Which reminds me, laptop, I’ll be taking that.
You’ll have to wait till I put it back together.
What do you mean put it back together, it’s new.
  I know it’s new, now it’s super new, with 12 g installed.
12 g hasn’t been invented yet.
It has now, with my new revolutionary thought processor and rewind imagery camera.
Have you finally gone nuts, you see what I’ve had to put up with the last five years?
Well, I can’t tell you what you’ve put up with the last five years, but I can for the last six months.
Okay, you’re beginning to worry me now, what have you done.
I installed a chip in you. Pick a date out in the last six months and I’ll show you what you were doing.
You’re mad, okay December the 11th.
Right, just put that date in, okay let’s view.  You’re having a coffee morning with your sisters
and wait, you’re slagging me off, as usual, tut tut.
My god, this is madness, you’ve finally lost it.
Oh, you haven’t seen anything yet, let's check out Dec 13th. Oh look, it’s you and the plumber in which seems to be a posh hotel.
So it is, do I look hot or what.
That wasn’t my first thought I must admit, maybe you could explain yourself.
Isn’t it obvious, I mean, you installed the bloody chip, what part don’t you understand.
I don’t understand why you’re with my plumber on the date he promised to install my new revolutionary coffee maker.

Reviews

[Ardra]

when will this finally get finalized thats what i am thinking...
wasn't it last about the paints of the house :P
hehe are you any chance connected to a divorce lawyer...
chip in her lol... :P scanning to find any chips ;)

[Paul Bell]

Lots of money to made in divorce. Plus, do you really want to stay with someone more than a month. lol

[Ardra]

mmm like you said one month contract lol... but u think one month is more investment? :P

[Paul Bell]

Short term investment.

[The Iron Horseman]

Lol! Hilarious, Paul. I love it. Thanks for a good laugh.

[Paul Bell]

Where have you been hiding.

[The Iron Horseman]

Believe it or not I have been wasting my summer by lying around because my damned back has temporarily paralyzed me! Couldn't stand or sit for more than a couple of minutes, so no computer access. And the freely available liquid painkiller didn't help a bit! :) Okay again now, though, so onwards and downwards!

[Paul Bell]

Nothing worse than back trouble. Speedy recovery.

[The Iron Horseman]

Thanks, Paul.

[Mrudula Rani]

Before I know head or tail of this poem, you lead your reader into a confusion of an affair with your conversation skills and leave us wondering how in the world you came up with this wonderful writing.

[Paul Bell]

I know the couple. lol

[Mrudula Rani]

Did you give any advice?

[Paul Bell]

Stay with the plumber. lol

[Mrudula Rani]

For how long?

[Paul Bell]

Till the pipes freeze over. lol

[sette]

i like the twist in the poem and it is just so sad that breaking up is the only solution left for a person

[Paul Bell]

Think she was exasperated lol