Bloodless

The blade cut deep

She died laughing

Death was a relief

Unlike her life

Riddled with betrayal

He noticed no blood flowing from her hateful body

He was always sure she was bloodless

She certainly lacked all human feeling

But even a b***h like her would possess some blood

He bent down to check just as she was rising

Something in his brain registered

Sudden disbelief, sudden shock

Words in mouth froze

As total shock shook his entire being

The knife entered his neck

Spurting blood in all directions

His fingers tried to stem the flow

She watched him

Fascinated at the pattern he was painting

So strange she thought

He always said she was the bloodless f****r.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I love this especially becuz autumn-like weather is making me crave the macabre! Now I want to give myself permission to start hitting the spooky writes hard! *wink! wink!* I love the "bloodless" concept & how you play it out. I love the quote in the final line. This reminds me of how I've been feeling since my mom died a couple months ago. I honestly feel nothing. We are just a couple old bloodless b*****s, I guess! *wink! wink!* Fondly, Margie

[Paul Bell]

It is coming to that time of blood gore.
I've always wanted someone to come to my door with an axe in their head, just, so I could say wow that's really realistic. Then they could whimper in a shallow voice, it's real. lol

[barleygirl]

My mom was a hairdresser for 50 years & she had this head with real hair (used for practice when learning the trade). I used this head for my "two-headed monster" costume for a few years. Always got rave reviews over that realistic looking head! *wink! wink!* Have fun with the blood & gore! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Paul Bell]

You just want to carry that head under your arm, maybe go shopping with it. Need to stop those dark thoughts. lol

[Cherrie]

...He noticed no blood flowing from her hateful bod
He was always sure she was bloodless..
That is a opening for a thriller, told after the fact.
Great line.

[Paul Bell]

He won't make that mistake again.

[Lyn Anderson]

like a little horror story -- I kinda want more.

[Paul Bell]

You want to be that woman, don't you. lol

[Robert Trakofler]

Oh my that was a nice twisting! I think I'm a bit anemic from all of the bleeding I do in my writing definitly feel a bit lightheaded if I write too long:) Clever picture you er he painted with that spatter

[Paul Bell]

Red is a good colour to paint with. Keeps the Police occupied.

[Fran Marie]

Dark and deep..maybe he had it coming..perhaps .he should have treated her better..very well written paul

[Paul Bell]

I think he had it coming. Certainly not coming back.

[Mary]

"Fascinated by the pattern he was painting" love the twists and turns of this poem, good stuff! Also well written, in my opinion. The beginning suggests she is the victim, but surprise surprise!

[Paul Bell]

Just when he thought life was getting better.

[Mary]

I wrote a murder poem. I'm a pretty peaceful person, but i must admit the poem was FUN to write

[Paul Bell]

Brings out the best in people. What was the title.

[Mary]

Fire and ice II

[gram linski]

Great piece of monster love, and as always the monster wins any good horror movie tells you to expect the undead at the end, makes for a good sequel, on that positive note, good poem, dude,

[Paul Bell]

Never trust a woman not to die when you want her too.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this feels to me like a metaphor....a figurative bleeding from the heart...the abuse turned on the abuser...
and shock and disbelief of him that she had the fight in her to turn the tables.
and of course he is never to blame...she deserved it...and then in the end proved to be the bad one.
intense.....

[Paul Bell]

He sure didn't do it again. No sympathy mind you.

[Fairy Khan]

Dark and twisted. I love the powerful imagery.

[Paul Bell]

Not a girl to get on the wrong side of.