Rock the Boat

Changes aren't always good

I rocked the boat and now I’m drowning,
In tears that fall so fast
A never ending stream of pain,
That seems will always last.
I gave you everything I had,
I tried to give you more,
And now I’m left with nothing,
As I’m falling to the floor.
It’s hard to believe it’s over,
When I’m still breathing in air,
Because the room feels so empty,
When I know you won’t be there.
And they say I’ll learn a lesson,
And they say I’ll be okay,
But for now I’ll just sit here and wish,
The pain would go away.

:::::

Courtney Shaddock

Reviews

[Tony]

Pain endured through changes in our lives are their own kind of wisdom. Of course, that doesn't mean we are going to like the enlightenment during it's process...... 'Rocking the Boat' in this clever poem seems to point to an important elemental question of the above concept:
Who initiates the change?
Entonces, no matter how the change comes about or who initiates it, or even how the consequences unfold, it can still be painful.
Nice work, Courtney.

[Pencalibur]

haha not cheating. I just fought back for once. Got sick of dealing with his crap

[.Bunnie.]

Well, I thought it was sweet! I wonder what the narrator did to rock the boat, though...HMMZ!! ^.^ It almost makes me think of cheating, but I don't know. Could be way off base! :P

Anyhow, I thought the rhyming was loose and free and flowed well; it didn't trip the piece up. It was easy to read and follow along with. Great job! :)

I agree with you saying that change isn't always good. There's either change for the better, or change for the worse.
The first two lines are simply brilliant: they captured my attention and drew me into the poem.

Perhaps a little bit more detail? Why does the room feel empty? Be careful that you don't use cliche's too much, readers want to see variety.

Good write.