When She's Not Here

This is for my loved one that I'm just trying to keep around.

I could end it.

I could end it all.

Maybe it'd be good for her.

Maybe it'd be good for everyone.

No more sadness

No more sorrow

No more crying

No more electric shocks of pure fear.

No more disappointment

No more anger

No more joy

No more warm feelings when you're on your way.

No more laughter

No more connection

No more late night talks

No more feeling okay about myself just because she cares.

In the pursuit of happiness i stumbled upon something

Everyone searches for.

Everyone wants it.

Hardship hand in hand with joy.

Left to decision

Is it worth it?

yes.

I realized that the feeling she creates 

Is worth all the pain in the world.

I'll do anything for her.

But even if it was to help her

From never feeling this way again.

I couldn't pack up

And get out.

I'm just too selfish.

There is no joy

If she were to leave.

There is nothing after her.

She is everything.

I don't care about my old life anymore.