Good Night

The poem I wrote while falling asleep.

My eyes are so itchy, 

No, so...heavy

I reach my hands out

to the blackened void above

and feel the whistling 

of complete emptiness

I roll on my side, 

with a sigh of content

as open space surrounds me, 

with its arms outreached

I slip deeper into its grasp

at the mercy of my own thoughts

as transient and intangible

as the wind that lifts them

Body completely numb, 

I escape the world of solid ground, 

and float to a land

enslaved by imagination

To that world

full of grace, 

 and so gracefully fleeting, 

I will most likely forget it by morning

Author's Note

I hope you all enjoyed this poem about nighttime. Thanks for stopping by, and have a great day!

Reviews

[Tai Ryens]

It truly is such a simple yet intriguing thing how our minds can go from processing something as bland as a dark room and later on imagine such stunning worlds beyond our comprehension. Well done.

[Elisa]

I completely agree. Thank you so much for stopping by!

[Kylie W.]

Wow, this is beautiful writing. Well done!

[Elisa]

Thank you :D

[♔ CrownedDevil &#..]

A beautiful describtion you have here. Nicely written.

[Elisa]

Thank you :)

[♔ CrownedDevil ☾]

Your very welcome.

[RiverRei]

I liked this, but I didn't really get the "pit of tar" portion of it. Maybe either find something else as imagery, or elaborate more on that? I didn't really understand what you meant since later you say there's only empty space around you. Is it a dream? I did like this a lot, just giving some suggestions :P

[Elisa]

Oh no don't even worry about it! Thank you so much for the input. The pit of tar was just for an indication of color of the sky, but I'll try to think of something that still portrays that while keeping the feeling of emptiness. It can be a dream, it can be the moments right before dreamig, that's up to the reader :) Again, I really appreciate the input! It really helps me grow.

[RiverRei]

No problem, it's why I try to give honest feedback :)

[Ana B.]

Beautiful description of the transcendental feeling and process we all go through...Brilliant write Elisa :)

[Elisa]

Thank you Ana! :)

[J.R.H.]

this poem was so good - it enslaved my imagination. Thanks you!

[Elisa]

Thank YOU for reading!

[dan]

Elisa, This is a very smart piece about the ritual of sleep. All lines in the poem are solid and very descriptive, but the one I love most is (I usually don't cite quotes in my reviews): "...at the mercy of my own thoughts as transient and intangible as the wind that lifts them" That is such a nice passage, with transient and intangible making such a great content for the stanza. This was very well done, I'm glad Steven asked me to review. Another thing I seldom do is put someone's work into my library, but I have to save this one. take care...dan

[Elisa]

Wow thanks so much Dan! I'm so honored!

[dan]

Well, don't be honored...I'm just joe average guy who enjoys writing like we all do here. take care...dan

[AaronFreitas]

Damn what an awesome piece Elisa! I can relate as I have some trippy dreams and some crazy thoughts at nighttime trying to fall asleep. Very good work and thanks for sending me read request my friend :)

[Elisa]

Haha right? I have the weirdest dreams sometimes! Thank you for reading!

[Kurai.Merodi]

Wow, really love how this is set out

[Elisa]

Thank you! :)

[catwoman]

i really liked it...it has a mysterious aura :)

[Elisa]

Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it!

[catwoman]

Your welcome :)