The Reflecting black.

this is about some personal problems i have, things that i hate about myself, things that i fear only push people away from me, people i care about i am not one to share my personal things directly so i write them like this.

It's complicated being me does anyone want to switch?
With all I can do right I have mastered mistakes,
with every thought I want to be good,
learning to care all over again,
saying the wrong words, I meant to say them right,
to be good as I can be, with the hope that I wont push you away.

Never want to be on the deffence, but paranoia gets it's way,
wishing to be everything that you love,
but I feel like I only make you hate,
open my arms for you to come in,
but I only scare you away,
will always hope your here to stay,
do I cause my own pain?
It seems I only look into pure black and see my evil,
each time a memory fades, I pray it's a flaw gone for good.


My past made me what I am, I say that in regret,
I only want to be the person that never makes you hurt,
want to be the person that says loving words,
the one who makes you smile, the joy in your days,
if I could give myself away, and be a new person I would,
to become exactly what you want,
to rid myself of my disease - me,
but I keep looking into black and remembering the monster that I am.

Author's Note

this is one of my old poems, those who reviewed it before the admins fucked up! then you can feel free to not give another review, but it would be appreciated if you would do it again, cheers!

Reviews

[Phillip J Clayton]

Thank you very much for the reviews, I am glad you liked it.

Cheers!

[StacyPerry]

I write my feelings as well as attempting to speak them. I have noticed that writing is an easier way though. Noting wrong with the piece you wrote. I liked it.

[Lia]

Great piece. I can relate to this poem. Wonderfully penned. Really like it. Thank you xx