an Interview with Death

a journey of Introspections.

an Interview with Death

It doesn't matter what sound the door gave as it opened. Or why the wood-grained floor crunched under my feet as I entered the room. The color of the walls have no bearing on what was grasping at my attention. The two obscure paintings have no date to a recollection that matters.......... (voice faint) "Sir"................. I don't remember how thick and stale the air was or that the toneless duvet partially covered a body, with or without tattoos upon it.............. (voice faint again) "excuse me sir"..................... what was the hue of those vacant eyes? I can't remember what it felt like. I forgot the emotion that polarized through me like nitrogen. I don't know whether or not death permeated the atmosphere around me like an effigy-like sarcoma.

"Excuse me!!!! Mr. Luceira!?!?!?"

I jerked my head, looking up from the floor, only to be met with the eyes of a young lady wearing horn-rimmed glasses and short wavy hair, sporting an unusually large lilac laced bonnet.

"eh?" I sputtered confusedly.

"You are, Mr. Adelaide Luceira, correct?" her tone suggested boredom.

"uhhh........... yes," I scrambled to my feet and looked around, "that's me. Just Adelaide would do fine."

Approaching the desk, I became quickly aware that the room we occupied was quite small. So minuscule in fact, that besides the table this young lady sat behind, there was only but one chair rear me and a single door adjacent my right.

"Forgive me," I said. My face was contorted with confusion, I'm sure I looked utterly ridiculous, "could you tell me where we are?"

Snapping open the laptop on her desk she began rapping quickly on the keys.

"You're in the waiting room Mr. Luceira." she said without looking at me, "Now, could you tell me the last thing you remem........." her sentence was cut short due to a trilling emitted from her little computer. Raising her hand, she placed a headset into her ear and recited, "First and the Front." pausing she then gave a curt nod, "Yes I have Mr. Luceira right in front of me Madame."

"Just Adelaide," I added quietly.

"Of course, Madame....... straight away." she said with less boredom in her voice, taking no notice of what I said.

She continued typing for a moment before loftily shutting the glowing screen. Swiveling in the chair she cracked a drawer, snatching a gold coin from within and removing her headset in one fluid motion.

"Lady Eath is ready to see you, Mr. Luceira." she handed me the coin and continued, "Beyond that do is a hallway, and in that hallway there is a boy sitting in a chair, his name is Charon. Now, Charon is probably engrossed in an adventure game or a......... war whoze-e-whats-it, it matters not. Point is, you hand him that token and inform him that Madame Eath is to be expecting you. He'll help you find your way to be sure." she returned her attention back to her computer, "Goodbye Mr. Luceria."

"Just Adelai..........." I began, but thinking better of it I simply said, "Thanking you........ This door then?" I sarcastically gestured at the only door with overexuberance. She nodded curtly without looking at me, ignoring my facetious demeanor.

Upon entering the hallway, I noticed the floor was painted, resembling wood-planking of a dock. It was only the width of the door, stretching to the opposite side of the hallway, joining itself with yet another door. To either side of the doors were painted poles. The poles were labeled as follows: the left -Charon-, the right-Pier 7. Turning around I read the poles behind me, and they were labeled as well: the left-First and the Front- and the right-Pier 47-. Turning my attention back to the floor, I realized on either side of the picturesque planking was a deep blue coloring, donning a silvery rippling here and there taking on the shape of water. In the "water" were a few vibrant pink and yellow frogs atop deep green lily pads surrounded by a multitude of different colored pastel fish.

As I marveled at the realism of the artwork before me, a subtle metronome of noise tugged at my attention. -Squeak squeak-..........-squeak Squeak-..........-Squeak squeak-...... It's rhythmic, almost lulling sound, belonged to an approaching canoe making its way up the hallway. Oddity amongst fascination, the tiny narrow boat on wheels, had a young boy at its helm, pedaling it from within. As it made its way towards me, I realized the length of the hallway was painted with tall swaying gold and green grasses and other bits of flowers and flora. Trees and bushes made appearances here and there accompanied by beautiful rows of heather steeped in a rich auburn hue. Branches of willow reached themselves far over the virtual banks, entangling with others on the other side of the "embankment". As the narrow rolling boat began to slow, "docking" next to me, I saw that the pint sized captain was indeed immersed in a tablet, emitting the cries of war.

"Oh, come on!!!!" he exclaimed boisterously, "Good work Reaper1........... way to live up to your name!!!!" his voice full of sarcasm and reprimand. Gesturing wildly, he continued ranting, "your forgetfulness has been our undoing once again. You're supposed to be watching our six!!!" he stood in his protest. The young lad was wearing brown clogs with black knee-high socks. His dark green corduroy shorts donned a red pair of suspenders that wrapped themselves over a short sleeved, white-collar shirt. With a violent gesture he removed his olive drab bowler cap, finishing his tirade, "we're gonna have to spawn all the way back in the Purgatory Pines. That's just wonderful........... took us nearly half a century to get this far and you just fuc............" his profanity was quickly stifled when he finally noticed me staring at him blankly on the 'Peir'.

"Look, Reap, I'm gonna have to break," he replaced his cap, "stay available though, it shouldn't be too long." he sat the war machine down and removed his headset, placing it atop the screen.

"Umm....... hi," I moved closer to the boat, "you're Charon I'm guessing?"

"Aye.........." he closed the rest of the distance between us, leaning palms on the canoes edge, "and I take it you're in need of some Guiding."

"And I hear you're a Guide of sorts," I did my best to hide my confusion, still unaware of where this was going.

"May'in be I am.............." he straightened his posture, crossing his arms, "you got payment?"

I flipped the coin in his direction, way too far to his left, he snatched it quick as a jack rabbit without even looking, making my clumsy flicking seem spot on.

"Madame Eath is expecting me." I said with more confidence than I actually possessed.

Let's take a brief sabbatical so I can explain my gross disposition. I have in the past, been prone to waking up in places that I am: A) Not wanted, but still there unknowingly anyway, or B) Wanted, but once again, no recollection on how the f**k I got there........... So, in turn, I have found the best way to deal with such a conundrum is to act as if you know exactly where you are and what you're doing. It (most of the time) saves on an uncomfortable and embarrassing rapport with whoever may be present during such an enigma. Saving face is important (or, so I've heard) amongst individuals who are considered normal. Admittedly I must say though, the drink has betrayed the lot of us at one point or another, however this time seemed a bit different to the usual alcoholic induced blackout. For one, I wasn't experiencing that nauseous, sick and customary terrifying regretful feeling that normally accompanies oneself after an extended bender. Two, the horrible splitting ache of the head that continuously reminding me to lay off the sauce wasn't present. And yes, three, I wasn't vomiting in frequent intervals, retching up what dignity and bile I still possessed........... thankfully. Now that we're all caught up let's continue.

"Madame Eath, eh?" he said quizzically, "bit odd...... well, get in..... if it's Lady Eath that's expecting ya' we wouldn't want to be keeping her waiting." he returned to his seat placing his feet on the pedals, "she's a bit further on than my usual stops." he gestured to the seat behind himself.

Boarding the wheeled boat was easy enough as it was quite close to the ground. Charon began pedaling in the same rhythmic, lulling timing as he was earlier. I noticed the ceiling was a mural of colors as well, a swathed beautiful night sky adorned with a blood-orange moon with stars peppering themselves around it shining in an ornate sort of fashion. It seemed to follow us, similar to the way eyes would stay on you as you moved around a room from a portrait of a person. The sky was vibrant with green and amethyst hue, snaking its way down the corridor, fluttering through the air, clinging to it like frost. The water began to ripple in the reflection of the moon, as the sound of waves lightly slapping against one another dueted itself with the cadence of the cadence of the boat.

Convinced I was just imagining things, I kept my hallucinations to myself, although I could have sworn I just saw the heather upon the wall dance and sway in a simulated zephyr.

"I haven't taken someone to see Lady Eath in................." he gave a brief pause; something told me for dramatic effect (I kept my biasness to myself), "well...... for quite some time anyway. Damnit all........ what was that lads name........... nice chap he was." he gave a shrug of the shoulders, "It'll come to me sooner or late-like. Anyhow, you've gotta be a special case to be sure." he waved his hand dismissively.

"How do you mean?" I probed gently.

"Errrr..........." he shifted in his seat, "Normally it's one door or the other......... you know...... transgressions and all that............ awwww, bugger me raw, it's gonna eat at me till I 'member that young fellas name........" his face scrunched in a thoughtful way. "'member all but his blasted name........ somethin' about his wife bein' judged wrong and all........... he come to get the poor lass........" he tapped his finger to his chin a few times, then continued, "him and Virgil came a'callin'........ he sure was in the thick of it....... but Virgil vouched for him ya' see.........." he seemed to be talking to himself at this point, and talk he did, "hmmm......... oh body of Hades........... anyways, if Madame Debienne Eath is to see you first...... well, you've gotta be a stubborn sort....... or difficult......" he gave an odd tilt of the head, "or both....... my money's on both........" he gave a throaty chuckle, then epiphany, "Alighieri was the chaps name........ Dante Alighieri............ see," he tapped his temple with a big grin, "told ya' I'd sort it."

"I have been known to be stubborn at times........" I pondered a moment, "and I certainly have been known to be difficult......... hey, you mean that fella 'The Canto' was written about......... what was it called again?" I am positive, in this moment, I was out of my suggested depth. But I didn't let on (how do you spell 'irony'... is it C...U...N...T...), "and stubbornly difficult, you bet your metaphorical cheeks.......... AH! Inferno...... Dante's Inferno!!" a smug smile tole itself across my face, then faded quickly after the sudden realization, "hold on a tick......... wasn't that publication before Jesus was even born?"

Charon let a moment pass between us until he halted his pedaling. Turning around, he pensively removed his cap with a solemn look saying, "you don't know where you are......... do you?"

"What?!?!" I scoffed, feigning insult, "of course I do....... I'm in the painted River Hallway...... on a pedicab canoe.......... talking to my chauffer, the utterly lovely Charon."

"Do you know, Mr. Luceira......." he leaned in close, almost whispering, "what a pederast is?"

"No....." I replied, "and please........ call me Adelaide."

"Well........ Adelaide......." his face grew stern, "a pederast is a person who practices anal intercourse.......... especially with boys."

"Good Lord........" I gasped.

"Good Lord, indeed..........." he leaned back in his seat, "now........ as I'm sure you can see, I look very much like what a pederast enjoys............ but let me be crystalline........ I am much older than you could even begin to fathom........... not only that..........." the volume of his voice, not only thickened, but increased, "I am not too keen on people trying to f**k me, Adelaide. So, from now on, as you and I exchange pleasantries and civilities, I would appreciate it if we kept things honest and above board......... no more lies." his demeanor went from austere to pleasant, in the blink of a cliché, finishing in an upbeat cadence, "and yes............. I do believe it was Dante's Inferno............ that's using the old pitter patter of grey matter."

"right........." I fumbled, "sounds reasonable.......... errrr, sorry about that........"

I can't quite explain it......... not properly for you to understand anyway........ But the only thing that would come close to sufficing what I felt in that moment with Charon, was when he was done 'calling out' my dishonesty......... it felt as if something cold brushed my soul as his words passed through me. It was beyond terrifying.

"I would say it's quite alright......." he placed his feet back on the pedals and resumed pace, "but then I would be a liar too....... eh?" he chuckled a bit and continued, "dishonesty is a noxious toxin that you humans have learned to live with, when it should have wiped your proverbial slates clean. It is quite astonishing what you can convince yourself of, applying all the wrong effort." the boat rolled to a slow stop as he pivoted to face me, "you put half that energy into the right sort of effort, you'd be amazed what one could accomplish."

"I can't help but notice that you used the prepositional 'you' before humans......." I gave a nervous laugh, "are you suggesting that you're not a part of the human race?"

"Oh, I'm a part of the human race......... just not in the capacity you'd be thinking of....." he gave a long sigh with a shake of the head before continuing, "and if that's all you've retained from what just transpired, then I would suggest you re-organize your priorities Mr. Luceira," he gestured to the door we docked by, "but maybe a conversation for another time."

I looked at the poles on either side of the door: the left said 'Pier 747' and the right said 'Madame Debienne Eath'.

"Well then......." I removed myself from the canoe, "if this is my stop........ then I bid you farewell." I gave Charon a curt nod.

"No need for all that to be sure, Adelaide........" he picked up the tablet, immersing himself once again, "I'll be here when you're done, to take you to your final destination, you know......... transgressions and all that."

"Right............ transgressions." I turned and approached the door. It was made of a deep hued wood with a frosted windowpane, with lettering on it. It had the word 'Lady' in the middle sprawling in an arch formation, and under it............. oh God...... under it...... centered in its mocking bureaucratic formality. First names initial and last name in its entirety. D. Eath..........

"Lady Death...." I whispered, as reality finally nestled itself into the pit of my stomach, at last confirming my suspicions. I was dead, "f**k......."

I stood there for a long, lamenting moment, unsure of what to do........... what to think......... how to feel.......... how to halt this momentary emotional inertia..........

"Just know twice and enter." he said without diverting his attention to the glow that emitted itself from the boat.

And so............. I did.

Author's Note

This is just a rough draft as of now. I think ending it there and letting the readers imagination take flight is a good idea. However, I might explore extending it into Death's antechamber, but I need to get some feedback first if that makes sense. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it.