Missing You

Missing You

(Somonka)

 

I am missing you,

As you are fast asleep, dear.

Your fluttering eyes

Tell me that you are dreaming.

Oh, when will my beloved wake?

 

I’m here in my dreams,

And you, my love, are with me.

I’m afraid to wake

To find I am missing you.

If so, let me ever dream.

 

Melinda McQueen Rodgers

September 20, 2021

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Soft, gentle and wonderful words for love dear Melinda.
"I’m here in my dreams,
And you, my love, are with me."
The above lines are wonderful and thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry for love.
Coyote

[Melinda McQueen]

Thanks for reading my poem. Much appreciated.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome dear Melinda.

[barleygirl]

This is a brilliant use of the somonka! You conjure up a ton of relatable feelings, such as anyone has felt, upon watching a beloved sleeping. Wanting to wake them & enjoy this person, but also not wanting to wake them & let them enjoy dreamland. Then, your second tanka takes a bit of a dark turn, suggesting that perhaps there's reason to fear that one or the other might not be waking up. I have some much-older friends who might be feeling this way when they lie down with their chronically-ill beloved every night (((HUGS)))

[Melinda McQueen]

Thanks for reading and leaving your much appreciated review.

[Einstein Noodle]

i had to look up Somonka .. thank you for that. the Japanese have provided us with so many minimalist ways to hang our hats on. they most always seem to elicit deeper thoughts and feelings. this on, i think, is so romantic. what better expressions of love than two stanzas from two lovers ... or one speaking on behalf of both... what stands out in your Somonka is the sleeping partner who doesn't want to wake ... he/she may not be there ... really like that ... if you want to be more precise, consider small change in V2 L5 "If so, let me ever dream." keeping it to 7 syllables ;) thank you for introducing me to such a romantic form ... super creative perspective from the second V person ... love it!
E.

[Melinda McQueen]

Ohhhh, thanks for catching that! i'm glad you read my poetry.

[Einstein Noodle]

:) glad your here and sharing ...