I Did Not Realize... Miss You

Did not realize

in these three defunct days you are gone

to seat  among the execs presenting your vocation

company romp to the big apple

never sleeping

i am a wreck racked with  what-if's or if you are playing

in the park at night.

 

i peruse the hundreds of adams on  your favorite online site,

browsing your age group, picking out the possible names you may have invented

usually you use "raw" or "bareback" as your alibi

with sports to lure the masculine ones - mostly hung ones catch your eye...

cummdump or versfunhung

those were my favorites with the stats you usually post,

yet still, even if, what if

you did do what you do best (without a hint of jest)

what can i do over here where the beaches are burning

as a compliment to your waging warfare

with your hulk and hunks and service on Times Square

what can this boy of a man in fleeting tears

do to counter the dereliction

the continuous fiction and libation of c***s in friction

for i have run out of water to douse you

to calm you with fountains or chinese meditations

prayers to gods who dislike the sins

we commiserate on sundays and playdates,

what can i do

for you to disengage ?

 

All i know is that i miss you so, as if my lungs are gone

from me, breathing tho' in the haze of smoke of ashened homes and trees

is difficult without the rest of what makes me me,

my other half, my strength in times i need,

mostly now in the bottomless dark lonely of attempting to keep

sanity inflated, hosing down the creeping thoughts

which burn my common sense and affinity

to believe you

must and you say you do and you tell me you are

loving only me

but it is  difficult to gather your voice

on the cell breaking up, as i catch fragments of your wishing me well,

i must and i tell you i do

love you completely and even madly

but it is difficult to miss you,

when the ache is maddening,

and my eyes are dry with tears--are few,

i did not realize

it is difficult to wait but i do

miss you...

Reviews

[Russianbeauty]

ahh the torment of love in long distant situations. Jealously mixed with a vivid imagination can create some of the worst nightmares and i think you capture that perfectly here.

[Butch Decatoria]

i leave my i small, to symbolize my inadequacy, and when my i's are capitalized - it is more of the confident, can-do-no-wrong bravado i rarely get... thank you for review, this piece is more of a purging to rid of my jealousy and self-confindece issues. i truly do not need to know where and what and whom he's doing, speaking, or sneaking with... i think i'm stronger than that...

~Pfluffer~

[Janyce Helen Van Es]

Try to capitalize your "i" . I know it is time consuming but if you practice, you will do it automatically.

We never know what our lovers are doing when they are gone, do we? It is scary-I had a lover (and eventually married him out of stupidity) who was a male nympho-didn't realize it until it until he came homethe next day smelling of douch I didn't use. Gross, huh?

Another time a lover had the audacity to give my phone to another woman to find him-said I was the baby sitter.

If we could put a microchip in our lovers like we do to keep track of our pets, it would keep our lovers in check, don't you think?