Thunderstorm

It kind of hits on a topic that is a problem nowadays..

Roll of thunder

Hear my cry

I will love you

'Till I die

Flash of lightning

We were meant to be

If only I

Could've made you see

Drop of rain

The tears fall down

As I stare at your grave

Beneath the ground

Dark gray clouds

You were not thinking

And now you're dead

Because of underage drinking

Reviews

[Adeline]

This is really good and I didn't expect the ending, it goes from like metaphorical and then reality. I like it a lot.

[Ally Baker]

this certainly is a problem today. && i think that you captured it very well. there are two other poems about drinking and driving that are some of my favorite although i am not sure about whom the original author is. one starts something like this "you told me not to drink mom; so i had a sprite instead; i feeling proud of myself; like you said i would;" then the ending is something like this: "my breaths are getting shorter mom; i am so unprepared; tell sister not to be afraid, mom; and tell daddy to be brave; and when i go to heaven, mom; put dady's girl on my grave". the other starts off like this "near to the door; he paused to stand; as he took his class ring off her hand; all who were watching did not speak; as a silent tear rolled down his cheek" the ending:"he put on his ring and wanted to die; and just as the wind began to blow; they lowered her casket into the snow; this is what happens; to man alive; when friends let friends; drink and drive"

i think this is a subject that although is talked about quite often not alot is done to prevent it. so many people are hurt from this and its really important. i think that one of the problems with so many drinking related deaths is that it is underage people drinking at parties and then thinking that they are "mature" enough to drink and then drive home. people need to understand that by drinking at a young age you arent only causing harm to yourself but to others as well

you really did a great job with this piece, im going to add it to my favorites. you have a great writing style. if you even feel like you want to give up on writing, dont you have a great talent for it