On the Eve of Autumn

This piece I wrote with two inspirations. I wanted to describe a natural event (the shift of seasons) while also metaphorically describing an individual's battle with mental illness.

The fog lies thick over grey-turned fields, 
a monument to fading life,
there's little left that safely shields,
from wind which cuts just like a knife. 

Atop the mountains signs of snow,
early as the sun of spring,
a sun which now can barely glow;
its foe has just been crowned the king. 

The rule is brutal, grim and harsh;
there is but one end once it starts,
a lifeless world, a grievous marsh,
remnant parts of silenced hearts. 

In its midst a wail as hope is lost; 
which barely leaves a simple yearn, 
this rule at far too great a cost,
an endless wait for life's return.

               

                                             - Gabriel Gustafsson, 4th of January 2016. 

Author's Note

Feedback is greatly appreciated.

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Reviews

[Cait]

Great poem you got going here. The imagery is stunning; you depict the scene from beginning to end well. The description of the rising moon was what really caught me here. It has a Romantic Period feel, and I like that.

[onmyway]

This is a nice piece of work! I like it..

[Poetry97]

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Kind regards.