Mother's Chariot

Mother’s chariot

 

As time sings farewell to the chariot of fire
We realise that mother Earth has made her seasonal tilt, on the bed of space
as time plays a tune of praise to her new white winter coat

 

Mother's voyage around her warm chariot draws even further into void
while her coat becomes warn
and her cold relic of frost turns to art
that showcases her scarcity of omnibenevolence, when time continues to sing

 

But her journey through the void of space does not stop

 

For time plays her a tune of forgiveness, and she turns back towards her loving chariot
welcoming his glory, his warm touch

 

She gives way to her birth of last year’s cycle
and soon her body is painted with new born followers
just beginning their story of life

 

Mother turns,
facing her fiery companion,
and listens to the kings of her empire celebrate the chariots return

 

Her body so full of life, and cheer
But nothing can stay forever
She will reach the point of her familiar trail,
Where she will make her seasonal tilt on the bed of space
and time will sing farewell to the chariot of fire

Author's Note

This is not only my first poem but my contest entry for the "Winter Solstice" contest.

I have always loved nature and it's beautiful expanses, I hope you like this! :3

Reviews

[Kerry O'Connor]

Very nicely done. You have taken a grand theme and worked your extended metaphor with great skill. I loved the lines:
'She gives way to her birth of last year’s cycle
and soon her body is painted with new born followers
just beginning their story of life'

[Cynthia]

Very Nice Written!
I really hope you will wim a prize in the contest, but even if you don't, I ma sure you will turn out to be a amazing writer!

[vido.]

great flow in your poem, and a great first write. good luck on your contest :)

[Holly O'Brien]

Very nice...I felt like this was a description of how mother earth loves the winter but is preparing for a different season. As if she's reminding herself that it's a cycle that she cannot escape even though she basks in the beauty of white snow and the many decorations of this particular time of year. good write...i enjoyed :)

[poetic soul]

i loved the way, this flows...its awesome...makes the reader ponder for a moment about a certain things...or mayb it did that to me...
pretty remarkable... i hope this got its due credit at the contest as well..

[Ladysue]

Remarkable. So amazingly done with great flow...

She gives way to her birth of last year’s cycle
and soon her body is painted with new born followers

skillfully done...100%

[Star Wolf]

An amazing story describing the changing of seasons. Brilliant job. This is one awesome piece of writing.

[r]

That is SO AMAZING. And you said it's YOUR FIRST POEM?! What?! I have a hard time believing that; this is such an AMAZING poem. It fits the Winter Solstice well, and is so creative. I certainly love it!

^^ Good luck on the contest! (:

[Ice QueenJen]

very nice and good luck on the contest!