stump

this is written on human stump.

I look at the stump and wonder
Was there or is the life yonder
It was there as a base
And no there was no haste

Slowly and slowly it withered
Became a vegetable never imagined
Hope was, but a, distant dream
Tears, Oh now and then used to gleam

Then came the time of judgement
The stump was but the remnant
Winds that blew away the shriveled foliage
Had been vehement, so full of rage
Now all over there was calm
Applying balm, no the rage was not a sham

Stump stumbled back to life
Will it or wont it everywhere was the rife
A new sapling was grown
To many it seemed was its own
Now it’s giving shade no wonder

Was there or is the life yonder

Reviews

[Tricia O'Brien]

This piece rocks, I dig it

Well done, well said, all around just rad

Trish-

[Prritiy]

Thank you so much Patricia.

[Akshat♥]

Wow,really liked this piece :)

[Prritiy]

thank you so much Akshat.

[Akshat♥]

you are always welcome :)

[Sami Khalil]

A very good job on this one...:)

[Prritiy]

Thankyou so much, nice that it is liked :)

[Sami Khalil]

Very much so...:)

[Prritiy]

:)

[Sami Khalil]

^^~^^ :)

[zainul]

Nice work.
Enjoyed reading.

[Prritiy]

Thankyou Zainul :)

[zainul]

You are doing great :)
Keep up the zeal,lovely writer.

[Prritiy]

Zainul :)

[zainul]

Prritiy :)

[NITHIN PURPLE]

nice poem..i liked

[Prritiy]

Thank you Nithin

[NITHIN PURPLE]

welcome pritti........

[Prritiy]

:)

[Chris]

I think if you got past a seeming need to rhyme you would better the poem and speak with more emotive power. The limiting of your word choice weakens the work and where the rhyme falters people will tend to close their ears afterwards.

As a comment: Losing a limb for any reason is traumatic and totally life changing - IF the person and those that care about him or her lets it be. It's easy to say be brave, it's another thing to live with thought of being incomplete ...but, it is being done - the living part - every day. It's up to people to value other people for whom they are not just how they appear.

[Prritiy]

Thank you Chris, for the constructive advice, i will keep it in mind in future :).

yes i had tried to cut off the emotional point (it was written a few years back) and wrote it more as experience of my life, depicting the events and now as it seems, and trying to make it indirect i guess lessened the emotive power too.

I will keep your advice in future writes :) Thank you so much.

[Chris]

We are more than the sum of our "parts" - much, much more. I look forward to your next work.

[Prritiy]

Yes Chris, and I have understood it much now.
The next one is written on this topic but on the feelings that it brings out :). Thankyou.