Mother Nature

Adaptation of a lost piece.

I am
Woman
Child
Man
All
Everything
You see
Is me
The birds
The bees
The trees
The very
Air
You
Breath.

I am
Fire
I am
Ice
I’m the
Ocean
And the
Motion
The rolling
Of the hills
The whiskey
Sunsets
And the
Flower
Frills.

I am
Heaven
That you
Dream of
Hell that
You see
I’m the
Lover’s touch
That brings
You bliss
The lips
You kiss
That bring
You to
Your knees.

I am
The forgiveness
That you need
The sin that
You seek
The greed
The lust
And envy
That you
Breed
I’m your sloth
Your gluttony
Your pride
And your wrath.
I’m the
Temptation
Placed in
Your path
I am
Mother Nature.
 

Author's Note

This is the reconstruction of a piece I lost in the confusion of Charles deleting files from the cafe. While I remember some parts and others are in reviews, the ending is different from the original version. I did keep the seven deadly sins, but I was not sure how they original were placed and what wording I chose. Hope you guys enjoy the revised version as much as you enjoyed the lost original.

Reviews

[KUFU]

HOT!

I like this. This work skipped along when stating,

"I am
fire
I am
Ice
I'm the
ocean
and the
motion
the rolling
of the hills
the whiskey
sunsets
and the
flower
frills"

...then stomps when you write,

"I am
heaven
that you
dream of
hell that
you see
I'm the
lover's touch
that brings
you bliss
the lips
you kiss
that bring
you to your
knees." ...love the rhyme scheme of this 'stanza'

The structure of this piece also helps to keep the tempo insistent.
Nice!

[Whisperer]

Hmmm... I like the structure and the coining of the phrases very much. Though I admit that I know nothing about 'beat poetry.'
The fact that you are able to identify with nature and feel at one with all aspects of yourself is a very nice central idea for the poem.
The images, as quoted by other reviewers is beautiful too... Nice poem!!

[Adam Greenfield]

Very well done. I like how you point out the oft forgotten strengths of Mother Nature. My favorite part in all of this is the line "the whiskey sunsets and the flower frills." That just rolls beautifully.

[The Spaniard]

wow...not much else I can say. I love the brief lines and how they flow so perfectly together. The message is definately rellavent in these times and speaks to me strongly. I'm glad I got a chance to read it. great job.

[Daniel Phoenix De Lafe]

I like the rhyme scheme and I liked how you put the Seven Cardinal Vices at the end. It's okay, I'm not religious and I don't even believe in sin, but I liked how defiant it seemed. A very interesting style of writing, I must say, I might try it out myself.