The Rat Race

The Rat Race is about our conforming society and its inability to think for itself, repetition in ones schuedule and the like and the grotesqueness attached to those that 'blend in'

I awake to the sound of nothingness

An empty residence, an empty home

A cold draft around his anus

Welcome to the cold, constricted Terradome

 

He rose with his typical confidence

An empty bowl, an empty cupboard

A burning pain in his penis

His zip he lowered and subsequently hired

 

He walks out with a usual briskness

An empty vehicle, an empty bus

Unaccompanied newspaper, bonus!

The usual journey travelled by many upon himself he thrusts

 

Approaching conversation with a very real falseness

An empty mind, an empty heart

I prescribe a stay on Venus

Carried away by society towing a cart

 

Author's Note

I'd like to know how you felt about this poem. What were your initial thoughts immediately after reading it?

Reviews

[Liza]

i am glad you directed me to this write; i have been thinking about a way to get out of the rat race because it trains us to be cold and thoughtless
this write expressed the emptiness and numbness we are unconsciously trained to become
i enjoyed the flow to it
i had to read it twice because i knew there was much more to this write than meets the eyes because it is describing emotion
i wondered...why is there a pain in his penis and then i was trying to understand what "His zip he lowered and subsequently hired" represented?

but then when you write a prescription to a stay in venus...did this mean a date? a mate? but it may be too late because the man is so turned off from passion because society is getting the best of him....

but my view may be my own....every review will be different since every one sees the world through their own wiring

[AlieahRose]

WOW...
VERY DETAILED IN THE SECONED STANZA...
I LIKE IT...
I MUST ADMIT...
I'M A BIT LOST...

[AK]

My initial thoughts...? I don't understand the need to reference body parts. Maybe I'm too stuffy...