The soul that disobeyed

The poem describes the joyful soul of a person that has run away from its owner. The owner is frustrated and demands it to come back, well the rest is easy to figure out...right?

To the lost and found we go,

just to find my merry soul.

Perhaps beneath all the layers,

lies my poor soul somewhere.

"Lost and scared somewhere it lies,

the merry soul that made me die.

Again! again! it screamed out loud,

as it made me go on a scout."

A million years have gone away,

searching for that soul...that lay somewhere 

Come here, come now!

I proclaimed, yet my merry soul didn't obey.

Author's Note

Please excuse any mistakes...all reviews/criticism are welcome...please feel free to do so...

Reviews

[Inject Positivity]

Loved the title Ria, I can relate to concept of your someway... For the last couple of months I was out of inspiration, the happy soul that I had before was lost from it's real place, I looked for it in many places but sadly I couldn't find it... Then a week ago it has returned again to it's place and I am full of happiness yet again... That's the only difference from your poem and my real life now... Very well done sweet frnd...

The structure and the presentation was fabulous...

Sincerely
Dhiman

[Ria Carol]

Thank you so much, Dhiman you help me more than i could ever ask for :)

[Hannah Grace]

Take out the comma after "Again! again! ....."

"Lost and scared somewhere it lies,
the merry soul that made me die.
Again! again! it screamed out loud,
as it made me go on a scout."


Other than these small mistakes this was beautiful!! Nice work!!

[Ria Carol]

Thank you...i will do :)

[Pryde Foltz]

Clever, clever concept and write. Kind of a game of hide and seek the rediscovery of spirit, no:)

[Ria Carol]

Yup...a journey to find lost happiness. :)

[Vatsal Rohilla (account..]

Well that is something new to me- the soul runs away from the owner. Your tone is amusing and engaging. You go to the lost and found to search for your soul, you proclaim it, but it doesn't obey. Repetition of 'merry soul' is quite lovely. I can imagine all of it, a person loses his soul, he goes out looking for it, urges it to return, but the soul doesn't obey. Quite a good piece. Keep writing.

[Ria Carol]

Thank you so much, the poem was meant to give the feel that the person who is searching his soul..is quite hopeless.
Thanks a ton for your review.

[Anuolua]

I like the theme,it's really nice.

[Ria Carol]

Thank you...I'm glad you did

[Shabeeh Haider]

A lovely concept. Searching for that merry soul that is hiding somewhere since a million years. Hopefully you will find it soon.

[Ria Carol]

Thank you for reviewing it...hopefully that day will come :)

[Jeannette Medlock]

Love the title!!! I hope she encounters soon an obedient soul one day!!! :p

[Ria Carol]

I hope that too... thank you :)

[Matching Socks]

I really like the concept here. Really neat.
I've read about lost souls but not runaway souls.

[Ria Carol]

I thought it would be a twist to the entire concept...thank you

[Ria Carol]

The concept of the runaway soul...was to emphasise the fact that the merry soul has left the body on purpose...almost as if the person was doomed to be sad forever.